a mother's love...

A woman's toil in the daily care-taking of a child or a family is usually taken for granted or even expected.

Once in a while, we see a mother's love personified. Hence I was indeed fortunate to witness one recently. I mean, in this day and age, one could so easily just pop out to the shop and purchase a wonderful cheese, chocolate or even an ice-cream cake without so much as a blink of an eye. But the love of a mother's love is personified in the hours spent on making a birthday cake!

The loving hands of a mother.....


Toiling into the wee hours of the morning...


An exhausted but very proud and satified mum...?

picture speaks for itself...
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going back to basics...

Once jet-setting belongs to the rich and famous.

But now flying is available to the ordinary, with the availability of Budget flights.

Once I use to travel on jetliners of boeings 747, 738 etc. And even with local travel, I would not get on a Fokker plane; especially after two harrowing experience where it is either a few days of driving or a Fokker flight, into the hinterland in East Malaysia.

But now I have no more travel miles, so I have to travel on Budget flights. No big deal right? especially when so many are doing it; and why should one be so arrogant. So in all humility, I booked myself on a Firefly or Kunang flight down to Singapore. I am quite patriotic too!

Lo and Behold, I did not expect to be going back to basics. Not that I am a great fan of aeroplanes; but I know I have seen this type of planes before 2nd World War movies. I really did not expect to be sitting on a re-conditioned propeller-ed cargo plane!
Yes - this is what I travelled in; although I have to admit it is quite comfortable.



But look at this plane parked on the other side of the runway! This is our kiastu's neighbours equivalent. Tiger Airways! It has got jet-engines!



Sigh! Will we always be the step-child? Will we always be inferior? Will we always be a step behind!

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Mulan

The first big screen, traditionally costumed movie 花木蘭 (Hua Mu Lan) have had left a life-long impression on me.

She was the heroine that I would like to grow up to be. I have had always tried to emulate her. Consciously or unconsciously, it provided the 'spiritual strength'. At my lowest ebb, I remember how she rose above great difficulty, in the battle field. At my high, I am 'Hua Mu Lan', taking on my male colleagues, on equal grounds, in their domain. At a cross road, it is to choose 'family' verses personal glory!

My grandmother, or is it my parents, took me to watch the movie at least three decades ago. Since then Disney has produced two carton version. It was great. But it did not provide the 'human' face or connection, hence reality. I am so glad it is now re-made again. I hope it will provide the same inspiration to many more generations of females!

History: The time setting of the story is uncertain. The earliest accounts of the legend state that she lived during the Northern Wei Dynasty (386-534). Apparently the story was expanded into a novel during the late Ming Dynasty (1386-1644). Over time, the story of Hua Mulan rose in popularity as a folk tale among the Chinese people on the same level as the 'Butterfly Lovers'.

Go bring your daughters and even wives to see it!
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a weekend to remember

First I accepted to be the liturgist this weekend, in thanksgiving for finishing my 17th! Not a good form of thanksgiving and my excuse is only human.

Then I asked Doc to doctor an insurance claim. All very legitimate and recommended by the agent! Of course Doc would not - proving once again his integrity!

Then I went for Aunt Grace's funeral service. I am so touched and blessed! Aunt Grace's spirit came to say good bye!

Bishop Yap Kim Hao gave a wonderful eulogy of a lady of breeding and substance! Amazing too that Bishop Yap is still so eloquent and full of presence at his age! Good too to see all the 'old' pastors like Rev Ng Ee Lin, Rev Wong En Mein and Rev Chew Tow Yow in attendance. Can't help but to note sarcastically, that all these 'presence' has kept the senior pastor in line and in awe! Not every one is quite so blessed though. Many of the 'friends' are really going down hill.

Sad that I saw another young soul of 23 who needs mentoring! Sigh! Do I really have to, my Lord? Is this my calling? I really just want to go 'a wandering, with a knapsack on my back'!

Sad too that not all passing of time means we are any smarter or for the better! It was nine years since I stepped into the Sanctuary. Yes, the design has changed. No, it is not the physical outlook which I need to get used to or giving the new a chance. Hopefully it is a little maturing on my part, as I really don't think there is any necessity to go back again! Neither do I need to be attached to a structure, physically, literally or figuratively. I am thankful that I no longer need to be 'attached' for reasons of climbing up the ladder, for a living or a calling! Although I acknowledge that it is convenient to be as it comes along with the ability to exercise one's contribution within a society!

Worshiping God is not confined but every moment and in the heart!
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a time to praise......

Yes, the last few weeks have been tough! And whatever is to come is just a chore!

But for now, it is the time to Praise the faithfulness of the Lord!

Why? because with the world economy swirling around, and expecting the worst, we have and will close the first quarter really well. And it is only mid February! I have to confess I did not believe my eyes, when I saw the figures!

Oh me - Oh my soul - you are such a creature of so-little faith!
Never ever forget - HIS mighty wings will bear us.

"...like the care the eagle gives her young...
when we flutter helplessly as fledgling eagles fall
beneath us lift God's mighty wings to bear us, one and all"
(UMH 118 - by R Deame Postlethwaite)

Oh, I have to thank my friends who prayed for me and gave me encouragement!
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Friday 13th, Feb

Though today, Friday 13th passed without much ado, it has been a rough week. Worked on Monday though it is a public holiday, Boss was in town, we went for a nasty meeting, did a round of trade visits and briefed a 23year old on our company and brand for her final year major research.

Big Deal?

Yes. After the nasty meeting, between the two of us, we had four cups of cappucino for RM72.00. Too expensive for the current economy. However, we need the ambience and the caffeine. This time round, I am so pleased I was totally cool and did not loose my head. It is a great improvement. We used to head straight for the nearest water-hole and had at least a pint, literally waiting for the 'quai-loo liong char' (beer) to cool us down, reflecting, before we even say anything of subtance to one another. That's how big a deal our meetings were!

No! because life goes on under the sun. It is not a big deal any more. I think I am more 'settled'. Have decided and told the boss - 2011 is the dateline. After that, no more corporate stuff. Enough is enough! Need to take a different drift in life.


... such as sitting under the coconut tree ... in some small kampung!
What a wonderful thought!

Of course, my peers were shocked. Mum, pratical as usual is worried; how and what you are going to live on? In reality, we really need so little to live on. What are you going to do? There's so much still to be done. There's the South American continent, the Africa Safari and the North and South Pole! What about the glamour and power(?). Well, I think I will miss it. But we will leave it to the Hee's and the Puteri's, shall we?
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red cliff 2

Talk about contradictions! Went to see the movie Red Cliff at 12am.
Not a wise thing to do as I need my sleep. However, I strongly recommend that this show must be seen on a big screen.

Plot after plot, the essence of SunTzu's Art of war, was well portrayed. With John Woo as director, we were mesmerized for two hours. Although I don't think there was quite so much gunpowder and explosions used in battle when one read the actual literature.

Red Cliff 2 is about the 3rd Century popular lore of the Three Kingdom - of Kung Ming (also known as ZhuGeLiang), Kuan Kung, Liu Bei and their adversary Ciao Ciao.
The Three Kingdoms period is a period in the history of China, part of an era of disunity called the Six Dynasties.

What was particularly impressive was the "Kung Ming lanterns" that lighted the sky. It is said to be invented by ZhuGeliang during the Three Kingdoms period as way of communication during war time. He was one of the greatest strategists of post-Han China, as well as a statesman, engineer, scholar, and legendary strategists. Had a thought! Imagine how threatening it would be to fly Kung Ming Lanterns during a candlelight vigil! Incidentally it is banned since 2003, in Malaysia. (http://www.dailyexpress.com.my/news.cfm?NewsID=16940)

Though I claim first and foremost to be a Anak Malaysia, there is a certain pride that a mere chinese lore hits the big screen. Red Cliff may not hit the magnitude of popularity or box-office takings as Lord of the Rings, it sure reminds me of the pride and gleam in his eyes, when my grandfather talk of his home and country.
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sky-peing and the other sky..

After a long break, today has been slow and strangely quiet.
Partly today was a replacement for yesterday's KL City Day. Roads are quiet. Sure feels like being in the 'eye of the storm'.

However, there are two things of significance:-
1. One of the advantaqe of being in a different crowd, allows exchange of information.
So from today, we have commissioned a Gen Z to introduce skype-ing to our computers! We will give it a try to see how much we could save.

2. To day is the eigth day of CNY. It is the most important day for the Hokkiens, when they pray and give thanks to the Sky God.
Story had it that:
It is in remembrance of the day that the Hokkiens came out from the sugar-cane fields, where they were hidding, after being persecuted by the Hakka's. The Hakka's were a warrior group, moving from one region to the other. Story has it that the Hakka's will understand the language of the land, if they drink the local water. For the journey they carried water, of the previous place with them. Unfortunately for the Hokkiens, when the Hakka's arrived in the Fukkien province, they were still drinking water of the previous land. Hence when asked who they were, the Hokkiens said they are 'lang' which means man but to the Hakka's it means wolf. So the persecution commenced.

The above is just a fable, an ancient Chinese tale. Yet it is so representative of the current world. The Hakka and the Hokkiens are all of the chinese race. Why do we need to discriminate or persecute one another?

Read this: http://encyclopedia.tfd.com/Hama+Massacre
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mild jungle in Gopeng

Today is the third day of the chinese new year! In a couple of hours, we will be leaving for Gopeng, where we will participate in white water rafting and a couple of jungle walks. Except it is much milder and we are well taken care of with 5 meals a day.

I am looking forward to it. Why?
a. over the years, I find that pitching our physical ability with nature, especially if there are mishaps, is a good preparation and therapy for the rat race. If one have had survived a capsize in the Kuala Lipis river, walked in a dark moonless night, not knowing where one's next step one is taking you - surviving the sticks and rocks thrown at you in the corporate world is peanuts.

b. well, this trip will be mild by comparison as we are bringing our Gen Z with us this time. They are growing up too fast. I know they enjoy going out with their uncles and this aunt who are so unconventional. But such trips have had brought us very very close. I sure hope to inculcate the love of nature verses the modern day outings to shopping complexes, which is now sadly so endemic of our middle-classes!

Lord, we say a prayer for journey mercies and fellowship!

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new hymns

Yes, I am playing catch up again.

Woahhhh.... someone's being reading my blog!

To this special someone:-
Please do know, I love the hymns that I have had been taught todate!
But Praise the Lord indeed, for teaching us new ones! Yes, we are being taught new HYMNs!

Hence, for this little 'episode' I wish to say thank you!-
(like the Emmy Awards winners)
I thank you Lord,
for the courage, to write what I think!
I thank you Lord,
for YOUR people, in whom YOU have placed me with!
I thank you Lord,
for all the blessings YOU have had and will bestow upon me!

the year ahead...

Boy oh boy! If these 20days into the year is a reflection of what is ahead, it will not be good for many of us. Two days into this week, we were deluge with requests for more and more promotions - buy one free one, buy second for 50% etc. This is inaddition to the regular best buys dished out to date!

Yes, we are innudated daily with news of the downside of world economy. If we are all so negative, we will surely live down this self-prophetic doom! Is there nothing positive out there?

Afterall our parents live through the 2nd world war, the depressions, the 70's, 80's and the 90's and now!

Historically, what is happening now is just another cycle where things the economy etc needs to right itself! It is also what the Taoist believe ie there will be a 'change' at the turn of the decade! This is 2009! Next year is 2010. True or not, we will have a new prime minister in March and the US new president, Barrack Obama is inaugurated to day!

Right - Calm down, calm down! It is not the end of the world yet. At least I believe it will not be within my life time!

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helicopter view

I had hoped for a rather quiet first week at work. Of course it will not be. Why wouldn't one take a step backwards and take a helicopter point of view? Instead we run around like a headless chicken, reacting or jumping at one conclusion!

One is told not to just look 'at' the parables of the Gospel (or problem?) but 'through' them as well (to solve it!) - JW Sider, Rediscovering the parables, the Logic of the Jeremias Tradition, JBL 102/1, 1983.

It is refreshing to read that one must interpret Parables in their historical setting ie original Sitz im Leben; before we ask what it means to us today. According to C H Dodd, we must first ask what does the parable mean and its application for Jesus' audience in the first century, when it was uttered by Jesus during his ministry. Within this historical setting, to A Hunter, there is a double setting. The secondary one is in the life of the early church.

Why are some parables recorded in one Gospel and not the other? It is in keeping with the character of the Gospel. Of utmost importance: it is directed by the Holy Spirit. (M L Bailey, Guidelines for Interpreting Jesus' Parables, BS 155, 1998)

So too is our life! It sure is no co-incidence what I am directed to read.

We neither know nor judge ourselves, others may judge but cannot know us. God alone judges and knows us

- Willie Collins (1824 - 1889).

hats off to ... theologians..

oh! but to join me in my mirth..

First thing in the morning, I had a mail from a classmate who "wished me a blessed new year, with a new resolution to finish MDiv within the next three years"!!! Of course that started my day with a smile; and an immediate denial. I have no resolution. Even if I have had made any, that would be not be it! Neither do I need such pressure, on the 'first' day of the year!

Meanwhile, yup I am sitting in the office and supposed to be commencing my 2009 work. In reality and out of curiosity, I found the book from the free Judaic Online Library, A History of the Jewish People in the Time of Jesus Christ (in 5 vols.) by Emil Schurer, D.D., M.A. Thanks to the Reb and Dr Mariottini!

As I 'multi-tasked' between reading online and doing a report, I can't help smiling:-

1. I laugh at a statement I once made - the more I read the more I realised how little I know. How true this has proved to be ... daily..
2. I laugh with shame, as I realised how shallow my past assignments had been..
3. I laugh at the thought and audacity of even contemplating furthering my studies ..

I take my hat off, to the past and current theologians, for such brillance, intellect and perserverance :

1. I particularly say 'kudos' to all who intend to or achieve their PHD in theology...
2. I thank God for all the Christian saints who made His literature available to us, free and online ..
3. Last but not least I thank my classmates' for their encouragement and their faith in me.

I don't know, I really don't know... at least I am not willing to make the commitment.... not yet !

ps. incidentally I was told off for such indecisiveness - "what are you waiting for? the Burning Bush?" -_-
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Christmas Cards

After a couple of such intense 'writings' I should talk about some frivolous topics.

I have received three 'real' Christmas cards. It is real because it is not an e-card. Not that I do not like e-card. A greeting is a greeting. I must say that e-cards are getting more creative and some are really good and nostalgic ones - Dean Martin - Christmas in the snow; and Celine Dion's - It is Christmas.

Opening a real Christmas cards allows for suspense. First, one looks at the stamp. I miss collecting first day covers stamps for Christmas. Then we try to guess who it is from. Then a smile breaks out with the personal hand-written message. One gets transported back for a moment in time, to a foreign land and past memories of the younger and carefree days - of making snowman and snow fights in the freezing night; the Sainbury wines and the half cooked turkey. Memories indeed!!!

Back to reality. We have not received any 'real' Christmas Card from our trading partners or suppliers. Then again, we did not send out any either. Sure is a reflection of the days ahead.

So lets enjoy Christmas - religious or commercial.

Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year!

finally an Apple....

Yup! finally I received an Apple.
By Apple, I mean an A (actually A-). It has always eluded me.

Now that the euphoria has settled down, I should also reflect.

Yes, I have had been told we are not supposed to worry about grades, when it comes to the studying of His Word. First, I was guilty and worried for this ambitious pursue for excellence. Then I found out that there are others who feels the same. I still believe we should not compromise.

So far, yours truly is only an average three plus GPA student. If not for the less 'theological subjects', averaging up the grades, it would have been a much longer haul and light at the end of the tunnel very distant.

The greatest difficulty faced is the lack of Exposure. Exposure as in-depth knowledge of the various theories/subjects. We no longer have the excuse of not enough reading materials with generously donated on-line journals. However, we still have the excuse of lack of time, juggling work and reading. Maximizing one's capacity (phrase taught to me by a trainer) has its opportunity cost of social life and even work responsiblity.

The lack of Exposure to Christianity and the community of faith, is also of significance. I acknowledge and realise that one is less able to 'discuss'. This is especially so when it comes to relating various theories with the current situation.

Last but not least, of course, the lack of knowledge of Greek and Hebrew is so frustrating. I can't compare it's innuedos etc.; Or it is so time consuming trying. Take for example, I laid my hands on this really intellectual article. It is spated with Greek! Wait a minute, it is Hebrew! So it is a scramble for Bibleworks.

Oh well, just for this reason alone, I guess it is a good enough reason to continue my pursue of His Word. At least it will satisfy my curiosity?

I am still thinking!

IT dependency

Never realise till now how dependent we are on IT.

We have had some breakdown over the weekend. For the most part of today, we were scrambling around, literally all over town, trying to access and download our EDI purchase orders etc.

After numerous phone calls, Streamyx promised to send some technicians over - only in the next two days to fix problems.

Oh well, guess this is the time to clean my table and do some filing!

HIS handiwork

This happened on Dec 1st 2008. As I stepped out of the car to open the gate, I looked up at the clear dark sky. I saw a pair of eyes and lips looking down at me. It was the brightest and kindest of eyes and the most loving of smile. I stood for a good ten minutes, mesmerised.

Then HE spoke to me.
and said - 'hi kiddo, here I AM'.

......Yes, Lord, I have oft doubted
and have asked 'where are YOU'.
......Yes, I oft wondered
whether you are looking down at me.
......Yes, I stand most humbly corrected..
Yes, it is possible to feel 'warmth in the heart'

and YOU do love to stop us right in our tracks,
and show us the beauty of YOUR handiworks

Though I did not have a camera then, I am glad that so many people have had and the moment was recorded forever. Scientists and Astrologians may tell me that I have just witnessed 'an unusual planetary positioning of Venus and Jupiter and the moon'. As far as I am concerned, the man upstairs, my God, has appeared before me.

Brewing away...

Often, we do not or may not want to be aware of what is brewing.
When it does explode, it is often painful and bloody...

On a daily basis, during a sunny morning, the sky brewed and poured rain upon us in the afternoon. So far it is predictable coz it is the north east monsoon.
On a personal basis, today, I just exploded in the office. After which, I spent the rest of the afternoon surfing the net. It's Friday anyway!
In Mumbai, in order to be heard, some mujahedins brewed for months, , before carrying out its bloody plans.
In Malaysia, our government is brewing about the economy. It is brewing, as we don't actively talk about it in the papers. But walk into restauarants, and the owner will tell you how bad it is.
So should we brew away? No, but we still do it anyway! We need to be consciously aware of the brewing! Otherwise we take it out on someone or something!
For one, I have visitors. They are the most lovely people I know. Selfishly, I look forward to them leaving tomorrow. I miss my space.

I miss the one 'companion that was so companionable as solitude'. (Henry David Thoreau, 1817-1862).

Celebrating Life

I have been rather bothered by the economy and trying to set an achieveable budget for 2009.
Today I visited my uncle and tomorrow I will be attending another wake service. Suddenly the economy and budget does not matter any more.

Though we know that death is the destiny of every man (Eccl 7:2); How do we, the living:-

• look at death in the face literally?
• talk or try to cheer a man who is in so much pain that death is actually a relief?
• live with the forthcoming loss?
• hold our tears back!
• told them enough, that 'I love you'

So let us remember our Creator while we have life...
Let us do the only duty of man... fear God and keep his commandments...

Let us banish anxiety from our heart ...

Let us see the sun ... in everything we do ...

Let us ... celebrate life ... in the forthcoming days ....

(quotations from Ecclesiastes)

Our Choice

I have spent quite a number of hours learning to 'beautify' my blog; and state what I have stated!

Then I received a mail, through a third party, purportedly written and Posted by Super Admin
Tuesday, 18 November 2008 11:13. Title of article is Tax-payer paid holiday for: .... the great Pretender to the throne, Najib Tun Razak, accompanied by aspiring 'First Lady' Rosmah, ... heading for a grand trip abroad the government's VIP Jet to the APEC meeting in Peru on 22-23 November. After the two-day meeting they will proceed for a week-long taxpayer-paid holiday in Washington DC, from 24 to 29 November to take advantage of the Thanksgiving holidays. This, as everyone knows, is the peak holiday shopping period in the US! The couple will therefore be making a great contribution to the recession-plagued US economy......

What is my reaction to such informations? Assuming this information, plus many others, are true:-

a. sitting alone in our armchair - there is this helpless anger! 'S..t' though I fall within the highest bracket of taxable income, like everything else, and there is nothing I could do about it!

b. then I tell myself that I really don't want to know. Infact I do not want to be innudated with so much information. Ignorance is (mostly) bliss!

c. Why ignorance? To quote what was said to me once - 'what is there to talk about if you can't do anything about it'? This statement also reminds me of a recent argument with a very good friend. She won't even exercise her one constitutional right to vote, as she believes that her one vote will not effect any change. You know we do have to agree that it is her constitutional right to think this way. Neither would I bother to quote here all those famous sayings - of how the bad trives because the good did nothing.

c. in actual fact, generations of us semuts have survived when the gajah's did what they did. Some semuts have even made it very rich!

So what is
i. my concluding thought: - It is our choice! A choice, we, Anak Malaysia, have made. So live with it!

ii. 'articulation of my inner-self':- 'Be Still Oh my soul! and know who is Lord'.

iii. my worldly self:- Actually (ii) helps to calm the dissonance of (i). We must believe Abraham Lincoln's statement - that we can bluff most people most of the time, but not all the people all the time! The only choice we are left with other than turning up at the odd candlelight vigil is to believe that we just have to 'wait upon the Lord'.