Oh! Well, I have been home for two days and have not written. Is being home, boring that I have nothing to say? On the Contrary! I have loads to say - just that reality and daily responsiblities are sometimes difficult and painful to express!
Having been away for about 10days, I came back and saw how 'old', the ‘older’ generation have become. I guess, we need to be away for a spell to realize it. I am glad that I bought and carted the roast goose etc. I was 10kg overweight, which I have had to hand carry! But I am glad that I have indulged my Dad! I called the Saturday night before and told my parents that I have bought a roast goose, siew nguk and char siew for Sunday night dinner. So my mum invited her brother and sister-in-law over too. Looking at the four old folks, I realized ‘really how old they have become’!
Getting old is not an easy thing. At 84, my Dad still drives the grandchildren to school. Stopping him, would hasten many things! At 84, he borrows books from the library at Chinese Assembly Hall, and reads the likes of the autobiography of Mao Tze Tung. He thinks I should adopt Mao's strategies of motiving my staff at work. Although it is at least 15years too late, I have spent at least 15minutes listening without rebutting! It is the time spent together, not the details which matters! But alas, his motorskill could no longer match his mental faculties. I dread to think of the day when it happens to us!
Over dinner, my Dad, still wants to ‘run the show’, giving directions to us etc. In addition, because he is deaf he was ‘shouting on top of his voice’. There are at least 16 of us, in the ‘small’ house! Imagine the commotion!
Beneath this ‘shouting and establishing his position’, the reality is his motor-faculty is so much slower. His nose-phlegm was running down his nose. He did not want to or probably did not realize it, to ask us for a tissue nor tried to wipe it off with his sleeve.
May I share that I could barely hold my tears back? I know that death is knocking at the door, just a matter of when. When I do pray, I dare not even ask for more days – just that God’s will be done! I only hope that I have done what I need to and I will have no regrets when it happens!
