I don't really know the meaning of Haiz... I heard the young using it. I suppose it is a sigh of sadness and expression of resignation?
However, I think it seems to be a very appropriate expression for the moment! Why? Specifically, for me, I have had been rather introverted and kept out of many church activities. One of the reasons being the time required on reading. The other strangely is that I don't feel the need to 'socialize'. Spending time alone, reading books, journals and articles about God is so much more rewarding(?)!
So over this festive period, I made a special effort to meet people I have not seen for a while. Yes, there is a lot of joy and laughter! There is also a lot of congratulations and shaking hands, when they heard I have finished my course! But the next moment is dreadful. As the next question is - so are you going to serve? After a while I learnt to just say "God willing".
My question is - do we study only to serve? It was definitely not my intention! I know there were many 'scholarly' or 'charismatic' arguments. Sad but true, the mass seem to associate the reason for the need to study His Word to those who serve; or in other word - because one is equipped one must serve! In addition, the general attitude is - we leave the studying to the pastors, the intelligent, rich or even the eccentrics.
Haiz, doesn't one know that one need to study His Word just so we could get to know Him better - even on a personal basis? Things like Daily bread etc are hardly sufficient, not for me anyway! For that matter, my lecturers would have told me that I have hardly scratched the surface!
I do not feel smarter; neither do I feel superior! Should my demeanour ever reflect otherwise, I think I could only equate it with a "more quiet confidence of fulfillment - because I know Him better for myself". Slightly, mind you! It is definitely not because I could serve HIM better now!
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