Today is a day of many happenings!
First I receive a mail from a friend, who seldom writes; cause she is busy with families etc. Glad to hear she is back to her quilting! You know, quilting can be a source of income! Just that I don't have the patience. She also reminded me that my last mail was on the 23rd of Feb. Well, some one's noticed!
One of the reasons why I have not written is because of work! This is a period of 'I need to be a typical secular, heartless bitch'. Yes, I wrote this statement to a friend; when she complained that I did not pick up her call. March and April are months of negotiations and it is really not pleasant! Coincidentally I was sort of asked officially whether I would like to preach! of course I said no! How could I, especially at this period! Writing an essay or report is possible. But it would be hypocritical to stand on a pulpit and give a sermon; with my frame of mind!
Then, my boss is around! We are talking about restructuring of sorts etc. Yes, I am given a rather good choice. But too many choices offers too many temptations and one gets spoilt with choices too! My boss of many years reminds me that we need to have enough monies for the future; hence to continue working! But does it matter?
It really does not matter. At the closing of the day, I was told of a friend who was called back to God! She is of the same year as me; found out she had cancer just about six months ago. So frail is life.
So the moral of the story?
To day, I have to choose between ensuring a secure income, at least for a few more years. OR why bother; We don't know when we are called! No I am not being fatalistic.
Crux of the issue is, and someone rightly commented, I am scared to commit my life /future to HIM.
So much easier to just use the excuse of 'I've got work'.
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