Haiz.... to serve or not to serve..

I don't really know the meaning of Haiz... I heard the young using it. I suppose it is a sigh of sadness and expression of resignation?

However, I think it seems to be a very appropriate expression for the moment! Why? Specifically, for me, I have had been rather introverted and kept out of many church activities. One of the reasons being the time required on reading. The other strangely is that I don't feel the need to 'socialize'. Spending time alone, reading books, journals and articles about God is so much more rewarding(?)!

So over this festive period, I made a special effort to meet people I have not seen for a while. Yes, there is a lot of joy and laughter! There is also a lot of congratulations and shaking hands, when they heard I have finished my course! But the next moment is dreadful. As the next question is - so are you going to serve? After a while I learnt to just say "God willing".

My question is - do we study only to serve? It was definitely not my intention! I know there were many 'scholarly' or 'charismatic' arguments. Sad but true, the mass seem to associate the reason for the need to study His Word to those who serve; or in other word - because one is equipped one must serve! In addition, the general attitude is - we leave the studying to the pastors, the intelligent, rich or even the eccentrics.

Haiz, doesn't one know that one need to study His Word just so we could get to know Him better - even on a personal basis? Things like Daily bread etc are hardly sufficient, not for me anyway! For that matter, my lecturers would have told me that I have hardly scratched the surface!

I do not feel smarter; neither do I feel superior! Should my demeanour ever reflect otherwise, I think I could only equate it with a "more quiet confidence of fulfillment - because I know Him better for myself". Slightly, mind you! It is definitely not because I could serve HIM better now!
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Merry Christmas....

It is christmas!!!
Another year, another Christmas!

Have to say it is at least 4-5 years that I did not have such a good Christmas! Truly my last paper about/on Exile has laid all the 'ghosts' to rest! And not forgetting no assignment dates looming...

But over the last few days I have had committed myself to attend Hebrew and Church History and wait for this ... promise to teach Sunday School to the not so young! And this is inspite of the heavy work schedule planned! Not sure what I committed to for the moment! The 1st quarter of 2010 will be a killer!

For the moment though, I feel ever so light with no 'burdens'. One of the reasons could well be the amount of ye olde Christmas songs I have sung over the last two nights! The CandleLight Service has been so full of joy! Wish we do not have to wait till and only for Christmas to sing 'christmas hymns'. Am looking forward to the Watchnight Service on the 31st too! Good old Methodist tradition that should not die out, I hope!

Then of course, today we get to open our presents under the Holiday Tree in my virtual farm! That is another story and quite a delight! What is worth noting is that this Holiday Tree is really a Christmas tree! Sad, as it is considered politically correct, with the Americans' to call it a 'holiday' or 'Tinsel' tree - but never Christmas! Wonder who or which group pushes it through! Maybe we could consider Christmas as a hyped up marketing strategy by the marketing and retailing folks! But there are a generation who grew up celebrating the event! So we compromise one group's tradition in the face of political politeness! Was not this groups' freedom of celebration compromised?

Perhaps I could not stop the tide! However, I could insist on wishing every one, of every race or religion:
A very Merry and Blessed Christmas!

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ask if you don't know.....

We were told a couple of times, in our Greek class, to ask if we don't understand! It is a general statement by our rather pastoral lecturer! Though he did explain a couple of times, I have to admit I still did not understand!

I said to him, politely of course: "not that we do not want to ask, though we do not understand, it is more of we do not know what to ask". May be this is more relevant when studying a language! I mean, if we do not have enough exercises to practice on, or read or speak the language, or how could we apply it?

So it is a chicken or egg situation. So for example: "Ask and you will be given" or told and taught? Even if we ask, God does not necessarily give everything we ask. We don't know what He has in store for us, so how and what to ask for if I don't know!

Naughty as I am, what I did not say to our lecturer is - 'if I did know what to ask, then we are no longer the student but the teacher'.

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done my dues....

As usual I just had a shelling from some one half my age! Though it is part and parcel of my job, it still takes some getting use to!

Once it was very much a part of the ego! Then we consoles ourself; brings one back to focus as to why we need to do it! We tell ourselves that we need to 'yen', then visualise the chinese character of a knive on top of one's heart! Monetary reasons being one of the main and most important; it is a great antidote, in suppressing the ego!

But this time - the 'revelation' is totally different! I burst out laughing! Why? A thought came from my heart(?). It says "you have paid your dues"!

So I looked up at this young girl and gave her a most serene look which said 'sorry darling, you still have a whole life ahead'!

Yes, I have paid my dues! At least in a couple of days, I am technically and legally retire-able! What a wonderful thought! And at that moment, I did seriously felt a great joy in my heart!

However, now that I have 'got' over it, the only scary thought is - if it is truly God telling me that I have paid my dues, at least in Paul's world, it also means that I have to start doing His Work! Yes, I could quote myself verses after verses, where He will be walking before me; won't put me through things that I would not be able to handle etc. etc. etc. Yet, it is still with some trepidation and fear that I have with the thought! I am only but human!

Okay Lord, bring it on, bring it on indeed! After all those trials and tribulations, it is about time, that my threshold for pain is put for good use for His Kingdom!

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I am hooked...

Yes, I am in trouble and truly hooked!

Yes, we are talking about virtual farming! It all started with curiosity! I just could not understand why every one has so many neighbours, and could so easily expand their farms!

Then my computer-science undergraduate nephew, Alex, remarked that he has read that due to the current economic situation in US, the rise in people playing computer games had doubled if not tripled.

So curiosity killed the cat! Yours truly found out that we could 'pimp' ourselves and 'Add Fast neighbours'. Lo and Behold, there are so many people pimping themselves! And they could give achieve the maximum size of farm overnight!!!

Okay! So I have now accessed many more people. Only problem is their achievments clog up the News Feed; which we could hide, of course!

Tell you a joke! So in my follow-up conversation, I remarked innocently how these IT people make money. Of course Alex said that it is due to advertisement! But no, I said. To my shame, yes, it is! But I did not know cause my monitor is too small and I could not see it. Joke, what a joke! LOL indeed!

Then the other thing is this Paypal (?) through Credit Cards! How could one spend their monies like or on this? Suppose it is not any more expensive than going to the theatre or cinema! Could imagine if one is snowed in, it is a credible form of entertainment!

Sigh! I am slow, da!

Whatever it is, I do have to stop! It is effecting my other hobbies! Like studying my Greek! Or tending my garden!
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white christmas

I was wondering whether I should title this as 'life's not fair' or something negative. I decided that 'white christmas' would be more appropriate and positive.

So what's not fair? Life never is fair anyway!

The story is I am trying to wean myself off virtual farms and aquariums! I mean, I have actually acquiesed to a 386 workstation for home use; just enough to do the Word and Excel, so I would not be able to enjoy any of those computer games! Much like cutting my nose off to spite my face!

But I have to admit that Zynga has been doing a good job, upgrading and updating its software. They have not only come out with christmasy gifts and stuff.

The issue is:- I never have enough neighbours to expand; though I may have the cash. I also absolutely refused to indulge in 'paypal' though they did offer discounts. Yet, I have managed to go up to level 31 with only a 12*12 farm. So now, they have even made available for me to upgrade my farm, for a mere $25,000, just so I could purchase Christmas decorations.

Question is:- Oh no! How did they single my farm out? Looks like my farm must have stuck out like a sore thumb in their statistics!

The best is yet to come! Zynga has just made available for us to have a snow-blanketed farm! It has been a while I had a real white Christmas. 'Silent night' has never been the same without the snow!

But, but... I now have a virtual white christmas!!! Isn't it great?
What will we ever do, if we do not have all these modern technologies and inventions! I have had to thank them for the pleasure and company!

Last but not least, looks like the twinhead and now the 386 really have to be binned!
We can't live without modern technology! Sigh!

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wise rabbi...

Okay! Another good and memorable one that has come around again .....
(source unknown).

Obviously this rabbi has read Eccelsiastes ...

One problem with such advices is that the young don't understand what you are talking about. When one begins to appreciate with depth, the meaning of such words, one would have passed the half century mark?

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celebrate??

This is probably an old, old, old joke or we have heard it eons ago. But I just got this through the mail; and with visuals too!

It does reminds us, though, that many of us could be mis-interpreting many of God's will if not his Word.

Enjoy!

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A young priest arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other priest in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.


He notices, however, that all of the priest are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new priest goes to the Bishop to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.


The Bishop says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'


He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old Bishop . .

So, the young priest gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,
'We missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !'


His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young priest asks the old Bishop, 'What's wrong, father?'

With A choking voice, the old Bishop replies, 'The word was...

'CELEBRATE' !!!

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trifles...

"trifles make the sum of life"... charles Dickens (1812-1870)

I was just asked why one wants to do this and that!!! Really it is about pursuing further education ... some more at this age... ????

From now onwards, I think I will change my reply, and quote Charles Dickens. My normal reply has been - why not? Which may have been too defensive or aggressive?
Should I quote Dickens, first it would create a silence! Then one would invariably image an expression of 'she is mad', and/or 'getting more and more eccentric with age'! But I love it - feels so naughty too!

The Oxford Dictionary define 'trifle' as a 'thing of slight value or importance'. Quite true! It is especially so when we pursue an education which does not contribute towards the market value in our career! However, it is no longer 'frivolous' if it does contribute and re-enforce, the conscious choice of a religion, we believe in. Moreover, my 'trifling' with theology, would probably keep me occupied, hopefully nearer to God, and definitely out of trouble!

Then on a lighter note, I love trifles - the dessert! Which reminds me, it has been a while and I should make one this weekend! Hmmm.. what shall it be with? strawberries or nangka?

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long weekends ....

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Starting with this Friday, every week from now till first week of January, will be a short working week and a long weekend! First it is Selangor's Sultan's birthday; then it is Awal Muharram and then it is Christmas; and of course, last but not least, followed by New Year's day! There are perks staying in a multi-raced country!

And yes, I have finished my budget for 2010! It should be the last time I will be doing and living it! Yeah! Baby! Yeah!

However, personally, there are quite a few things to be decided and sorted out, which will be part of the next five year plan!

One of them being - we finished our final exam for Greek 2 on Jan 12, 2010! But guess what - Hebrew starts on Jan 13, 2010! It is going to be a commitment if yours truly decides to take it! First it is a six month thingy! Then we have to take a four hours drive, to and fro, every Wednesday! Foolhardy or dedication? Sigh! Looks like we have to take it on! Why? God permitting, if yours truly ever get to do a thesis it will be on OT and Hebrew is a necessity??????

Talking about Greek - so why bother with Greek now? Cause it was never offered earlier!

Incidentally, three quarters of the way through our Greek 2, we had this realization, among our classmates! How could we have written what we have written, if we have known at least a language?

So we think Biblical languages should have been offered much, much earlier in MCS, if not compulsory! But then, of course, limitations (or excuses) abound, in all us humans! Otherwise, we are guilty of perpetuating the 'unknowing-ness of the lay-people'!

Education truly belongs only to the elite few!



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christmas ...!

It's Christmas again... isn't it wonderful?

Except that it also means that the calender year is ending! How fast time passes!
It has been a good year! Next year will be even better!

Two days ago, after our Greek class, a few of us commented. If we have had known a biblical language, we would have understood what we have learnt and attempted in MCS!

and I went through eight subjects of OT without knowing a word of Hebrew! I do remember, nearing the end, I was able to access some really good journals. However, it was frustrating not to understand the language!

Never mind, we will do it next year! 2010! I always like the beginning of a decade! It brings so much unknown - which I now no longer fear!

FOR I have learnt to look forward to the new - which is installed for me!

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Anak TEE

Okay we have started a page called "Anak TEE", on this auspicious day of the Advent!
Originally we were going to call it - Anak TEE-iri. In our National Language it is supposed to mean 'step-child'. Long story as to how it came about! If full time students have their grouses of pastoring, mentoring etc... can you imagine what happens to us part-timers and how we feel!

Guess we are more focused! Most of us are already serving in various ministries, and just want to enhance our ability to do God's work. It does not matter whether our original objective for attempting any TEE is 'a calling'. After the required hours of lectures, we all return to our own homes, churches, work and families. We are all VERY MUCH ALONE.

Hence Anak TEE is a place to simply connect and share our notes, references, books and even our trial and tribulations. Think we could do away with the term of mentoring etc.... But we do really need our fellow students to edge and encourage one another.

After going through the grind, I can testify that it is only through the knowledge of His Word, do we really know our God. We need to digest His Word ie think, question and mull over what we read, then regurgitate and express?. Believe me you, while you mull over what you have read, the Holy Spirit will speak to you.

We will see how the response will be like! God-willing, we hope to encourage and guide our fellow anaks to finish their studies.

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Mulan

The first big screen, traditionally costumed movie 花木蘭 (Hua Mu Lan) have had left a life-long impression on me.

She was the heroine that I would like to grow up to be. I have had always tried to emulate her. Consciously or unconsciously, it provided the 'spiritual strength'. At my lowest ebb, I remember how she rose above great difficulty, in the battle field. At my high, I am 'Hua Mu Lan', taking on my male colleagues, on equal grounds, in their domain. At a cross road, it is to choose 'family' verses personal glory!

My grandmother, or is it my parents, took me to watch the movie at least three decades ago. Since then Disney has produced two carton version. It was great. But it did not provide the 'human' face or connection, hence reality. I am so glad it is now re-made again. I hope it will provide the same inspiration to many more generations of females!

History: The time setting of the story is uncertain. The earliest accounts of the legend state that she lived during the Northern Wei Dynasty (386-534). Apparently the story was expanded into a novel during the late Ming Dynasty (1386-1644). Over time, the story of Hua Mulan rose in popularity as a folk tale among the Chinese people on the same level as the 'Butterfly Lovers'.

Go bring your daughters and even wives to see it!
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2012 - another aspect....

I recently heard another view of 2012!

Do you know why so many animals needed to be brought into the ship? It is to ensure that there is enough food for the Chinese! Otherwise the Chinese will starting eating the rest of the two legged animals in the 'ship', when the four-legged ones run out!

Quite a possible thought! Especially when one is innundated by the recent documentaries on how the sharks in the world are being depleted, by the desire for Shark's fin soup!

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2012 - the celebration

Had a dinner last night! Good to catch up! We are now on the verge to moving on to the next project in our lives! Something to look towards!

Then arriving home, I heard that a friend died in Hong Kong last night. First he was hospitalised, discharged and then found motionless in bed, in a hotel, by the concierge, a few days later; all within a week!

Then this morning the papers reported that H1N1 has now mutated in the cold weather. There were four victims to date. Whether my friend is one of them, we have yet to know!

It does hit a cord. Went through almost the same thing; even with the concierge calling to check if I need room service as I did not leave room for two days!

Yes, I have been blessed that the weather held out till I left. It was hovering around 23-26 degrees Centigrade; although Beijing was hit by snow storm. The weather has plummeted since; hovering at 10 degrees in the day. It is also fortunate too, that this mutation have had not occurred two weeks ago. The thousands of exhibitors and visitors were from all over the world, literally. We would all have been carriers! Imagine, as I write, now, hardly three weeks later, 2012 would have had arrived at our shores.

So, do we really need to worry about 2012? There are more pressing and real issues at hand which would have brought the same consequences.

Vanity! Vanity! All is vanity! We know this well from Ecclesiastes! Why worry about the future if we cannot appreciate the present! Why worry whether we do not want to be like this or like that; or registered with this institution or that; or this church belongs to this clan or that.

Please, let us focus on and celebrate, the Blessings and the Life, we currently have at hand!

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2012 the movie

Latest show and talk in town.

Well our club helped organized a charity film premier. As it was a two and a half hour block-buster, it has been quite successful in the fund-raising aspect. None of us have tickets to spare, as it was sold and re-sold for charity!

The movie, 2012, of course, has renewed talks of End times; especially among the adults, religious or otherwise. I remember I was fearful when 1984 was approaching. That's because I read George Orwell's 1984 - which speaks of a thoughtless, conforming society! Total contrast with 2012 - total annihilation of the world through 'natural causes'; latter being highly contributed by man though!

However, I would like to register how my fourteen year old nephew's take on the movie. When asked what he thinks about the movie - he said it is about Noah's Ark.

Great! So - 2012 is the next generations modern interpretation of Biblical stories! Much like we read DC comics - Danny and Beano, they read Mangga comics and watch anime films!

I am glad that in his youth and innocence, he has not realized the issue of how the ice-cap is melting and the world will probably go through another ice-age. I am also glad that his Sunday School teacher has probably not told him anything about End-times! If the scientists are correct, it will probably be during his life-time. However, if he does not know about that, it could also mean that we, the adults, have failed to teach him much about greening the world.

But this is another and more positive take on the movie:-
Let us interpret 2012 as a "celebration of our young ones' innocence and youth"!

Let them, or at least my nephew, retain his innocence for as long as he can.

Let his priority be - how to get a girlfriend; his favorite song being - 'my first kiss' (or something to that effect)!.

Let us, the adults, worry about another 'End Times'!

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compartmentalizing.......

I have downloaded the necessary documents for theology.

I have to get people to sign and write 'nice' things about me in order to go for further studies. At this level, it would have had to be an educational pursuit and not so much of a pastoral evaluation! Correct?

Of course, I said that with sarcasm! I could understand that we need to weed out the tares and check if one is a 'qualified' wheat for the Course. No doubt, one could get a 'pseudo' certificate. But hei, we are talking about a Certificate, from a respectable institution and highly qualified lecturers!

So tell me, how can I not 'compartmentalize'? Mind you it is not just in Paul's world, but within our Christian Society, that it would be necessary! It is necessary because we have to live within the System; so we abide!

I have oft been called a 'rebel'. But no, it is not a rebel per-se, but a dangerous thinker! When one thinks, one questions! Take for example, this statement from an admired knight - 'I am not against you, neither do I agree with you'.

Only problem with that statement is - one will never be viewed as a true blue blooded team-player! Why? because one is only luke warm. Even Jesus said that "if you are even luke warm towards me, I will deny you in front of my Father".
So if one is viewed as such, forget about trying to climb the ladder, within or without Paul's world.

So tell me, how do we not compartmentalize, eh?
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mild concussion..

Right I am playing catch up!

I just found out that we will be having a public holiday on and each Friday from next week to the 1st of January 2010 (except for the 4th of December). The last time it happened in my working life, is because I need to clear my Annual Leave.

Imagine that - a long weekend for the rest of the year! I really need that. Though there is a lot of work like the budget to be done! Yes, I am just starting. Then again, I could take a rather flippant attitude of 'Hallo it is just figures'! Like the Chinese man said 'better for the sky to count than man'.

But I really do need the long weekends! I fainted or should I say I lost consciousness in the toilet of the plane on the way to Hong Kong. Yes, I agree it could well be because I was really trying to do a lot, as I will be away for more than a week. I flew on a Saturday. In the five days before, I was trying to do two weeks work in one!!

Then the fainting could be a fault of a turbulence. I definitely hit against the door and lost consciousness! In fact there was a distinct mark of a door knob on my cheek and the pattern of the carpet on my forehead. Apparently some one heard the fall. I woke up to some one knocking on the door. When I answered, I was left alone. Imagine being wedged between the door and the toilet seat. Must have fallen like a bag of potatoes. Anyway I did managed to extradite myself; walked to my seat.

The fuss and real consequence came about when I woke up from a nap and threw up. Despite the number of miles I have flown, I have never needed to use the 'bag'. Take my advise, learn how to open it before you need to use it. It was a miracle that I managed to throw most of the breakfast into the bag. For that matter, I seriously think that all passengers should actually check or actually use it and not assume that there is a life-jacket under the seat, until an emergency!

Now the real story begins! I had a lot of attention - including three doctors who were on board. Apparently I could be having a mild concussion! Incidentally, I now know that the worst and most silly thing to do was to ask a 'patient' how and whether they are alright. It so happened that there was a flight operations executive on board. Yes he was concerned, asking loads of question. Got me a bit irritated. I turn around and told him that he should know better what to do as he would have had more experiences with cases like mine and would like to know my rights as a passenger ie to sue MAS or what. Yes, I had the presence of mind to ask if I could sue - always the rebel!

Well, I was given a ride on the wheelchair to the airport doctor. It was rather embarassing as the lady who pushed me was much smaller in size! Glad I did take the ride cause my head was spinning looking at the carousel for my luggage. Oh, though one may not be too conscious, but there I was wheeled through a special immigration check.

So the airport doctor thinks I should have Xrays done at the local hospital.

Oh! I have to record this. Not sure whether it is my concussion; but I thought the doctor's name was Greek; Cause his name was very wriggly! Apparently Doc said he is from Adelaide and not Australian! Suppose it is true that Adelaide-ians are more refined with all those vineyards around??? See the irony?

The next big excitement is - I was taken to the Princess Margaret Hospital in an ambulance. Oh I did have the presence of mind to ask the ambulence personnel to take a picture of me in the ambulance, because I need to blog it.

After four Xrays and a ecg, I was declared fit. I refused a blood test as it is already 4pm. That would mean my dear friend Daisy Wong would have to wait for another four hours. Daisy was already with me from 2pm. Also I was worried I would be left without a hotel room. Hotel room would be difficult to find during a Convention.

Cost of hospital bill was HK$570. This was as compared to the Airport Doctors bill of HK$400.00. Was told by the rest of the Honkees that I should have taken the blood test for two reasons. One is that the bill is so cheap; apparently the ecg itself would have cost HK$1000.00. The other is that they have had paid so much through various taxes; at least a friend benefited!

Well the rest of the story is - I slept through the weekend literally. Just before the I fell asleep, I messaged my siblings. I slept through the phone calls and that caused a worried furore back in Malaysia.

But the Lord was with me! Managed to get through the rest of the week! Went to work and picked up some necessities!

Moral of the story? That's it! Will take things easy! Whatever is in store, my priority is to learn more of my God. I will be doing Theology!
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so much happenings.....

Well, I still have no computer at home. However, it just means that my virtual farming is now done at work! But there is good in having no electronics at home. Managed to study for two Greek tests! Probably won't get an apple, but should at least give a better average than the first three - which was disgraceful.

I just received the quotation of a lenovo, hardware itself cost four grand; inclusive of the other legal copies, final amount is seven grand. A hp is a couple of hundred cheaper. Perhaps a alcheapo nameless taiwanese brand should suffice!

What else? Plenty has happened. Where do we start? Some we can't talk about! Some we don't want to talk about! Some are just too silly to even consider talking about it.
Yes, it has bothered me for a while. End of the day, I am just amazed at how naive we could possibly be.

All things considered, I really believed that most of the happenings and consequences that we encountered could be avoided if we have been a bit more discerning, smart and even be a bit more open about things.

Being a bit more open about things mean - sharing with some one who will probably give another point of view. I mean, if we do fall ill and the doctor say you have developed cancer. Honestly even if we pray about it, the chances are to go to another doctor for second opinion.

But what if it is something which is related to our ego or our principles? So we adopt a stringent life style, keeping away from the vices! Some even keep away from people. But we are not forest monks. We can't even be concrete monks. Not sharing means we are not honest about ourselves.

We can be worried and hide our weaknesses and failings from our fellow beings. But we can't hide from our God you know. Then the other question is - if we can't be honest about ourselves with our fellow sinners, how could we ever pretend to be honest with God?

Do we not know that we are no where near 'holier than thou' just by having a stringent life-style. There is still a black spot in our heart, to which we consciously do not want to face or accept. We can't even pity ourselves for another's treatment of us. To what depth do we know the meaning of the hymn 'I surrender all'?

But we cannot say the above to one who really needs to hear! Why? because we have ears we don't hear with. Instead we adopt a defense - a wall we hide behind.

I seriously believe that the thicker the wall, the harder the trials and tribulations we will have to face. Like a parent, sometimes, we just need to watch the child totter and fall. We can't even pick them up as the child need to learn by themselves how to get up from a fall and take the next step.

All part of growing up - whether as a human or a christian!
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trying too hard....

So we have been meeting yearly...

So we see one another age physically .... develop idoisyncrasies... but there should be a limit... and yet one cannot but must hold one's silence...

First - dinner at this place which was owned by a few partners - some where at Kung U Fong, some where in Central. Don't even know the name of restuarants! Partners must have travelled aroung Asia. We had a fried fish, which was really cheap when we were young! Then we had a version of fishcake with salted fish! To finish we had kei-chee ice cream with some fruit which I do not know of. All in all we had something like 18 dishes; but such small portions so we were relatively full. It was not a big deal, at least to me, as I have tasted the original in its own country. The only memorable and mentionable is the pigeon smoked in a mixed variety of chinese tea, which was the most impressive.

But the sad thing is - trying to equate a wine with each dish! That was a bit sad! It would be very condescending if I say:-
one do not need to put on airs or adopt a fascade - to make sense of life or as an alternative to the pressures of the current life.

We just need to have a 'quiet confidence, resting in the Lord'.
Maybe I am the lucky one! Neither did I try to evangelise! Just a little prayer of thanks to my God!

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whew......

okay, it is nearly ten days since I wrote. Loads have happened.

First we have had our annual dinner! Then it's mid Nov. What is done for the year is done! If one had not reached the target, it is too late! But it does not stop some from trying to return, close and cut loss as much as possible.

For me:-
a. I have agreed to take some one on! Yes, if we do not put ourselves in situations, we will never learn - for better or worse! (This is as opposed to trying to stumble another - if we put them in a situation)!

b. I think I have had taken too much on my hands! Thought I was still that young! Is mentally but evidentally not physically anymore.

c. So I am back in my annual Hong Kong Trip, doing my normal stuff....

Otherwise, I believe we need to put ourselves on trial all the time, so that we would not be bored; know our threshold and even know our limits!

Yes, it is a 'never say die' attitude. Otherwise I would have die many times over, literally!


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neighbour...

My neighbour's renovation is finished. I am now living next to a 'white palace'. It really looks good! However, there will be not be a blade of grass within the grounds! Every available space is cemented or tiled! Sigh - talk about greening the world! Never mind, I will try to make up for it by maintaining my little patch of green!

Honestly a little patch of green does a lot. Under my patch of a Henna tree, hibiscus bush and a Surinam Cherry (Eugenia uniflora); I could grow ferns and even temperate plants like Azalea and tea-roses, in an equatorial climate. That should proof to any one that trees are necessary?

This is how a Surinam Cherry looks like. The family of Tree Shrew (yup, there is a family of them) loves it! In fact they ate most of it, before I could have any!


Needless to say, renovation affects my 'space' too. The back roof is leaking, it has not happened before. Cleared a bucket of sand and gravel from the drain. My pots and plants were cemented literally! Hence I have spent the weekend clearing the drain and re-potting! Not complaining as it was good physical exercise. Got any and every dormant sweat glands working as I was totally drenched after that.

My rather elderly, toothless gardener came and mowed my little patch of 'lawn'. Actually I was contemplating replanting the cow-grass to the taiwnese-grass. Don't have to worry about mowing, with the latter. However, the thought of a monthly, toothless smile has delayed me doing it. Moreover, he needs the money!

The raining season is upon us. So took the opportunity to trim the trees and bushes too! They would sprout quite quickly with the amount of rain water we will get.

That's it! We are now ready for the festivities and the brand new year of 2010!
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wonderful news ....

We had wonderful news today!

One of the major retail store in town is downsizing. It is the fourth and final stage for the year! Has been happening for the last six months!

How does it affect us? Not much as we have had been conservative any way! But there are and has got many people really upset lor, cannot make up for loss of sales, feel cheated due to loads of support etc. etc. etc.

But that's the way things are going and will be for another year!

Incidentally I had a conversation with some one! We were talking about End-times! Seriously if we watch the news and documentary on cable tv etc, one would really feel that the End-times is just round the corner! There is this Seven Sins, Apocalypse and all the natural disasters such as Tornado. What was interesting, and much nearer to home, is the Anak Karakatoa (sp?) volcano. Seems to be very alive and growing; situated between Sumatra and Java in the Sundra Straits! Oh well, if it is any consolation, if this Anak blows, it would affect the rest of the world. So what ever is going to happen to us, we will have loads of company!

Any advise? Don't watch so much TV! Too much knowledge is not always good! Our grandparents generation does not know what illness they die of; neither are they
deluged with what is happening or can be happening tomorrow!

Just make sure we leave our baggage with Jesus every night. Wake up with a clear conscience to a new day and new beginning; because the first thing I see when I wake up every morning, are the hills and the mountains that our Lord made!

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the fun theory

The Fun theory.

This video and experiment shows that we can get people to change their behaviour if there are incentives! Incentive here is through the element of fun!



Not sure where and who made this video, as it was sent to me through the mail. Believe it is really a VW ad.

Guess we could relate it to the way we adopt noisy bands into our worship. All in the name of keeping up with the times or at least a way to modernise our form of worship in order to entice our youth!??!!

But we must not forget:-
a. in the video, the underlining statement is that walking up stairs is much more healthy physically
b. in our new form of worship we also need to ensure that the Word of God is instilled.

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what a day ....

This is one of those days!

First I was told that in spite of changing the fan of my CPU, the hard disk has now crashed! So the IT people offered to lend me a spare hard-disk so I could use it first. This is in anticipation that I will be buying a new one! Looks like I can't or will not be able to save some monies!

Well my 'old' twin head has had served me well - four years and a certificate; and loads of fun and knowledge! Can't complain as it worked out to be about 0.23cents a day!

Oh well! Then there is the additional incentive that I do need a new toy! Was told that the new budget means that my tax contribution has come down at least by two percent! Oh well, I do need to praise the Lord, though! Guess I should consider working for a few more years!

Then I found out that there are alternatives with the agst for Mtheo etc! Very interesting alternative indeed! One less excuse for not carrying on my studies! And with a new pc too! I sure look forward to 2010, Lord, what ever you have installed for me!

In the midst of all that, I had a fall. And I mean a fall! Created such a huge noise - big lump falling flat on my face! Knees took the brunt of fall! Except for some bruising, I can walk!

Then I have Greek 2 test today! All these API, 2API etc.! I have not really sat and studied for it. Sigh!

What - all good things must have a black lining to bring us back to earth? and remind us that it is HIM who is in control? I don't mind! I do need it most times!
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Update: the fall shocked all the Greek out of me! At least I did not do half the questions - so I would have failed last night's paper. Now I seriously have to do well in the rest of the sessions! Otherwise I would not even get a C+ or 3 GPA!
Other thing is - yes, I am walking with limp! Going up and downstairs is really painful. But I am sure it will be healed in a day or two!
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no pc....

So my notebook is in hospital. It truly needs a new fan for its CPU! Well it has to be done! Before I embark on something new!

So I have done this and that and those things which does not involve access to the net! But I still have the virtual farms and fish tanks to harvest and clean!

Came home for dinner! Went straight up after dinner and have sat in front of the computer! Then one by one, the family trooped upstairs to their own station! I have been at it for the last two hours. So have the rest! There was no need for conversation or acknowledgements of any kind. We do not communicate of course. We are all in our own world. We don't share the fights, tears or sweats we use to have or face! For one the grandparents just could not understand what the grand children are doing and in absolute silence too!

Of course the good part is - the less said the less harm or conflict!

So what about this thing that all man are social animals; no man is an island etc etc. Guess there will be some new renovative ideals and theories soon! How do we interview our subjects? Through the net of course!

I am not sure if the way it is going is good! But I could definitely stay in the house without having to leave it or talk to any one!
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budget...

Just heard the budget broadcasted live on the radio.
Okay, so we are spending less to reduce the deficit. But it will be some time before we see brighter light!

But the good news is - it is great if we are Students! They will be getting transport passess at RM1.00 and free broadband service if you are still in University! Hmmm... wonder whether it will include part-time students!

Yes, our insurance relief will now be a thousand dollars more. Suppose it will be a great deal for 80% of the working population! However, it is no big deal to others!

Oh well, we still have to tighten our belt for another year or so!

And then, I am supposed to write about a friend.
She is still looking for a job! It is not as if there was no offer! But there are reasons if not excuses! End of the day, it just goes to prove what I believe. We really don't need much to live on! Helps too, if one has another bread-winner in the household.
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quiet confidence

Came to work today with a quietness!

Quietness due to no more modules to worry about? Not totally true since i have Greek2.

However, I like to believe that this quietness is due to a confidence in having learnt what I have learnt and the assignments handed in!

Surely Goodness and mercy will follow me as I confidently dwell in the House of the Lord!!!

Wonderful feeling indeed!

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sobering ceremony....

Attended the graduation ceremony on the 16th Saturday, 2009! It is a sobering affair to me for a few reasons!
a. The pomp and tradition of the ceremony befits the occasion.It brings about the seriousness of the occasion, to me anyway! If I have ever thought that it is just another academic award - and I oft have; I have to equate that I have just about been in the presence if not witness the visual 'holiness of God'.
b. The attendance of so many Bishops of different denominations gives a visual representation and coherence of a 'one' church/body of Christ. Do wish such gatherings are more visible for us 'lay christians'(?).

Oh, I have to mention that I do not envy all these young graduands coming out to pastor! Yes, they have finished their first theological education! I praise the Lord for it. But the world out there is not nice! We really have to pray for our young ones! For the matter, it is the same for all other young secular graduands!

Now for the fun part! We had a great time at the graduation dinner! Yes, it was good to gather together without the burden of 'outstanding assignments! Yes, we gave a little expose of what we feel and have to go through as part-time students! Guess you could say we took the opportunity to 'poke fun' at our lecturers! On the other hand, we were told we made heroes of our two 'Ye olde Knights of NT and OT'! What ever it is, we have had learnt a lot of the Word of God, from them!

What next? I think it was appropriately and thoughtfully defined by a fellow classmate! He gave us a parting gift - a book - 'Quiet moments with God! Apt reminder - not just head knowledge but heart knowledge of HIM!
Praise the Lord indeed!
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sitting on stilts

My twin head is sitting on stilts. Apparently the CPU's fan is kaput!
So I have to raise it, in order to allow sufficient air flowing underneath, to ensure it does not overheat and black out on me!

Looks like I really need a NEW pc too!

I am not allowed to purchase a Compact as it belongs to HP. One purchase will increase its market share! So it matters? Yes. One of my siblings is working for its competitor !!! But I am allowed to purchase any other Taiwanese brand cause it's market share is peanuts!

Much like I will not be pleased if my suppliers! use another brand of cosmetic in front of me! Neither would you get a government contract when the company is not a bumicompany!

Where does the line stops with marketing tactics verses racial considerations?

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new day

Right it is new day in a new life.
It passed peacefully!
Went for a hair cut.
Marrinated chicken with yohurt and five spice,
for tomorrow's dinner with family!

So what's the big deal?
Had a strange dream!
Some one was very sad
as she/he was prohibited
from entering a bright and shiny house!

Oh well, I am no Freud
Will just leave it as a record!
Was told to watch on History Channel
- God v Satan
- Inside Islam

Need to go to church afterwards
promised some one a walking stick
Looking forward to another
new day!
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new beginning

Today is the start of a new beginning
It is also the end of the old
I have made a choice
and will face the consequence

To learn is one thing
To put into practise is another
It can be considered foolhardy
as all changes bring the unknown

but it is the start of what I have learnt
walking in faith
is strange yet not so frightening
as long as we have faith

Can't say what it is
but things are unravelling
some by my God
some by people around me

there will be a lamp upon my feet
in that I will draw strength
neither will I be alone
for the walk before me
Amen
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Greeking it 2 ....

Tonight we begin our first class of Greek 2.

Have to say I am looking forward to the grind again!
Strangely, it brings more joy than apprehension! Assume it is the pleasure of learning more of Him, as opposed to pure human adrenalin flowing from pressure?

Share a secret! There is a human and biological factor here! It is real! Just found out today that I was not the only 'strange' one! Found out that a few of us actually suffer from post-assignment syndrome!

Have read an article before, from Fortune magazine, that all the CEO's are just as good and excel in their 'hobby' such as golf, sailing, squash whilst running one of the top 100 Fortune 500 companies.

I am so proud to say that a few of my class mates really excel (better than me, of course) in their studies of God's word too! This is, in addition, to their busy schedule!!! We are talking about the Core Subjects on Old and New Testament!

Of course, we do not forget that it is our Lord who made it possible. We give praises and sacrifices of thanksgiving! Glory be to the Lord!

ps. tell you a joke - I have no where to attach my Greek 2 to!
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historic day

Well, we were invited to the graduation "pending official notice from Academic Office"!

So today is a historic day, indeed! We were all told officially that "you can sleep well and look forward to the graduation day". Yes, it was a relief and the handphone has been busy! Then of course there is the exchange of grades and GPA!

I have been:-
a. 'told off' that we are not supposed to talk about grades if we are studying theology. End of the day, the reality is that an education with an institution needs an authentic certification. Also a grade invariably represents the degree of our understanding of the subject or God's word!

b. questioned with a bit of disdain as to why do we need to pursue a certificate! Sorry kid, I confess I am not very disciplined! An audit does not force me to search or dig further about my God. I suppose I could use the excuse I am medically deaf in one ear as far as sermons are concerned. Whatever it is, both are like 'ee-pin-foong' (in Cantonese) meaning 'wind blowing beside the ear'! it does not all go into my heart!

Incidentally (b) was said by a person of the frock! Hei, we are no threat, you know! At best, we are watch-dogs, and question you a bit more! Have you no confidence in yourself or your faith?
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housekeeping

Went for a classmates' daughter's wedding! Good gathering to see friends again! Learning to get use to saying 'I am your mum's or mother-in-laws classmate'!

I have to take my hat off for all these females, who holds a job, runs the office and family and bring up at least two kids! Oh have to mention - catering and taking care of the 'husband'. All these without a maid! A couple of things come to mind!

First, here I am thinking it is a great deal to run a company, do my assignments, wondering what to do with the house work, washing and ironing, since the maid has not been turning up for two weeks now. Not to mention waiting for the plumber! The washer has broken down and have run up a huge water bill! Oh, forgot to mention I have to go see my aging parents, as well!

At least a decade ago, I read a thesis done by an American female. Met and read her thesis in a plane. There was no internet then, neither did I keep in contact; so can't quote her! Her conclusion is that the Asian females are far more superior (if not wile-ly) than their American counterparts! A rather amusing conclusion she draws is that 'the Asian females, although, in reality, runs the family (plus the office) has managed to 'make the husband feels like he is the man of the household and family'.

Since then I have to admit that I have had learnt from it. I do not have open confrontation with Asian Bosses! I have learnt to make them feel extremely important, giving them the full credit whilst getting the job done - my way!. I have also long accepted that it will take another generation or two, before females will be recognised as really equal - at home, in the corporate world, or in church(?)!

This is a total opposite from dealing with 'white-western' bosses! They like to have an open and frank disscussion. Most importantly, they will acknowledge they are wrong! No ego getting in the way! I thank my western female counterparts. They are pioneers for many females of future generations to come!

Oh! Last but not least, incidentally I was told that I should get a house-husband! Hmm... not a bad idea!
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fine line ....

It does not matter what culture, religious or social group we belong to. One reality is - we very quickly learn to stay within the fine, unspoken and even invisible lines that is inherent in that culture, social or religious group. This way we get accepted and approved.

So since becoming a Christian, I have ceased to do many things. Some of them are definitely voluntary because of convictions. But there are many, of which I am not sure whether it stays within a biblically accepted behaviour or not!

Take this short video - 'dear penis'.
To me it is good clean fun! I know the title and subject sung about is 'sensitive' but it is just another body part! One could make another video about our 'dear big-toe or nose'.

I know that there will be some who will frown on it. Some will definitely and can even quote verses after verses in the Bible how one can stumble another and how it will devilify our mind.

Watch the video. Script is brilliant. Song and facial expressions are more than adept and wonderfully delivered.

So access this and tell me, if I am not allowed to 'enjoy' it!

Access video at:-
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/video/video.php?v=1088318441690
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9 chickens, 8 cows and a baby elephant

Okay, it is just about two months where I am having a break!

So I have been manning my virtual farm. Yup I am at level 24. Yes, I do have nine chickens, 8 cows and a baby elephant. Yes, a friend actually gave me an elephant! What does one do with an elephant. You see we could harvest ie collect eggs from chicken, milk the cows and even collect wool from sheep. Actually had five sheep as well, but sold it! So coming back to the elephant, I do look forward as to how we could harvest an elephant. Collect his dung as firewood?

Then I also have my virtual aquarium, my farm at Farmtown, Barn buddy and my happy aquarium. All in all, it has kept me really busy! Except I don't the feeling of being 'bound' to the computer! I actually caught myself rushing back as it is time to harvest my crops! I can't even be bound by men, and will definitely not let an innate thing do that!

I could well understand, like I could harvest twice a day, when I am sitting at the computer all day. It does make sense! Especially if no one else can see your screen. I mean one could really look busy, or take a break when one needs to look at figures all the time! OR keep me company when I have insomnia!

But this will all end! Why? Greek 2 is starting next week! Never thought I will look forward to it! A couple of my classmates said that they have forgotten their vocabs. Well, I have faith that it would be rather easy to brush up now then say a year later!

Question now is - what do I do with my animals? I have not named them, so should have no regrets! Will some Animal Cops come after me, like what we see in US programmes, summoning owners and rescuing abused animals? What I have in common with the Animal Cops are - we have too much time and wealth on our hands! Give an animal be it dogs, cat, chicken or cows to some one in Africa, and it would probably be eaten!

I know dogs taste delicious. It is also known to help elevate chest and lung problems, due to the various herbs used to cook it. Maybe one day, I will need a pet for company. But for the moment, I love to tell the story of how tasty dogs are, especially served stewed!

Oh well, to each it's own!
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the agony of ...

There is this ceremony that is supposed to be held in two weeks time! Yours truly is trying to get a group of us to do a skit or something 'fun' so we would be visible. I can tell you the response is really deafening!

Why? Apparently tomorrow is the dateline for handing in the all unmarked assignments of graduating students. Well, there are a few of us who are waiting... Waiting to see if we could make the grade for the ceremony! Again, the agony of this waiting is so deafening! Can I equate this silence to our humility?

Yup, it is our fault in the first place. Now there will be no reprieve nor time for us to make ammends! We should plan well ahead. But then there is the Murphy's Law at work! We only need one clog in the wheel not to work as expected!

I like to think that Murphy's Law is really due to human nature. We can't blame it on God you know. Nor claim it to be God's will!
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two weddings in a day...

Had a busy weekend!

Attended two weddings hence two dinners! What a lot of food and eating!

Had a conversation with a chinese educated cousin, Tham Sang, who I have had always enjoy talking to! He does comes out with some of the most brillant comments and observations! We were talking about how we need to rush from one wedding to another! He has three that night!

We Chinese has this thing about the date and time we were born ie 'pat-chi'. It is supposed to influence the type of life we will have. In the olden days when marriages are arranged, the male and female's date and time of birth must match, in order ensure a compatible and fruitful marriage.

Tham Sang observed that it is all rubbish and definitely not relevant any more! Why? If each couple has their own matching date and time, there must be millions of combintations of 'pat-chi'. But it cannot be, that for all the millions of Chinese couple, the auspicious day has to fall only in the eight month of the lunar calendar? What happens to the other eleven months in the year?

There are only 5 weekends in 2009. Can you imagine the number of 'angpow's that has been dished out? Apparently all the hotels ballroom and other restuarants have been fully booked in the Klang Valley! Thank God for the idioscycrancies of one culture! Otherwise there would not have been much reprieve, for the hoteliers, from the current economy and H1N1 etc .

A poolside wedding!

A traditional chinese dinner!


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under performing

I have been bothered by a few things. But this blog is no longer my diary, so it seems I have to be careful what I write.

So 'Under performing'... recently I heard that a pastor was not given a posting because he has been 'under performing'! One cannot defrock or un-ordain a pastor. Does not having a posting means that one will not be paid? Does not being paid a salary means that that particular pastor is 'sacked'.

To qualify myself. Fortunately or unfortunately, I did not have the opportunity to be trained as one nor be one. Again, fortunately or unfortunately, neither did I take enough modules on and about the role of a pastor. So how does one judge that a pastor is under performing.

In the secular world, if we deem a staff to be under- performing in a particular position, we must provide training. In spite of that, and staff still does not seem to be interested we need to be seen to be 'assisting' by providing another position in another department. If the employer really wants to 'get rid' of the staff, as staff is not a team player, hence a political issue and not performance issue, the employer will still need to show cause by giving three warning letters.

So an employee in the secular world is protected by various labour laws. What about pastors? Does the church abides by the law of the land? Does the church abides the law of the kingdom of God?

George Ladd defined the relationship between the church and the kingdom as: “while the church is not the kingdom, the kingdom creates the church, the church witnesses to the kingdom, the church is the instrument of the kingdom, and it is the custodian of the kingdom".(George Eldon Ladd, Λ Theology of the New Testament [Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1974] pg.111-19).

Second time round, we are not bothered any more. Only good thing is I have learnt of God, through the various courses! Then again, have I found the answer to why some people viewed that it is not necessary for lay people to pursue further theological study?

Half baked, thinking pseudo-theologicans are surely a dangerous thing!
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food, glorious food... !!!

It has been a busy weekend!

For the weekend that passed, it was meal after meal and food after food. I have not eaten three full meals for a long time. Once upon a time, we could actually burn up the food and energy very quickly. Now if we have three meals a day, it just sits in our stomach and intestines.

But then, 'eating' was not just about consuming food. Eating has become a 'fellowship'. So it has been a long continuous round of fellowship and gathering, though at a much more leisurely pace.

Incidentally, we are now smack in to the eighth month of the Lunar Calendar. Good and lucky month to be married in. So there will be wedding dinners almost every weekend. This will stop for another three weeks ie the eating! Which will hardly give us enough time to 'loose' some fat before the Christmas and New Year celebration and binge comes around!

Sigh! What a good problem! I am not complaining! But it is a bit too excessive(?), especially so when we think of the number of people who are starving!
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Selamat Hari Raya..

I wish all our Malay neighbours and friends - Selamat Hari Raya..Aidil Fitri.

Yes, it is a long weekend. The roads are quiet and KL is so peaceful.

There is so much I would need to do. Yet, it has been raining cats and dogs over for the last few days now. It is so nice to laze around in bed. It is so cool, a natural aircond. Okay, will take an afternoon nap later!

Anyway, last night I attended a 'play'. I call it a play as it is held in KLPac with proper 'free' brochures. Play was organised by a group of Sai Baba followers! Performance has many flaws. Then again performers are amateurs and it is totally voluntary.

It is still admirable by its objective of expressing whole hearted devotion to their founder. It could be heard in their 'songs' and chants. Only time 'God' was mentioned was 'to love our parents as gods? It could also be viewed as their 'outreach' effort.

One of the many questions and comparisons which arises is what would happen if the founder is no longer alive. Would there still be such devotion. What would his place be in this universe? Prophet or saint?

Invariably there is a comparison to what I believe. I believe in a Trinity, a Christ and God, which we could not touch and see, especially in this Post modern society. I subscribe to Wesley's Quadrilateral which draws from four different sources:-
* Scripture - the Holy Bible
* Tradition - 2000 years of history of the Christian Church
* Reason - rational thinking and sensible interpretation
* Experience - a Christian's personal and communal journey in Christ

Wesley's tradition refers not only to past Church traditions and theological writings that we accept blindly. It also refers to immediate and present theological influences which contribute to a person's understanding of God and of Christian theology. In retrospect, this was my journey, belief and objective that was achieved, in the course of my studies!

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Crankly old man

I want to go home. But I am sitting in the office. I just had a phone call from my colleague, who told me not to attempt going home yet. The traffic is at a stand still and all roads on both side of the highway are chock-a-block

We just had a thunderstorm about an hour ago. The sky was totally black and heavy with moisture. Like any developing countries, we do not have good road planning or drainage. So when the sky decides to pour buckets of water down on us, our drainage cannot handle it.

I want to go home to see my parents! Yup, I was home on Monday. But this email just came in.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in country New South Wales, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.


Cranky Old Man
What do you see nurses?.. What do you see?
What are you thinking.. when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man,..not very wise,
Uncertain of habit..with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food. . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice ..'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice ..the things that you do.
And forever is losing .. a sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not ...lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding...The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? ..Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .. you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding .. as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten .. with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters.. who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen.. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now.. a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty.. my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows... that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now.. I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide.. And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty .. My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other.. With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons .. have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me...to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more ..Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ... My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me .. My wife is now dead.
I look at the future .. I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. young of their own.
And I think of the years..And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age .. look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass..A young man still dwells,
And now and again.. my battered heart swells
I remember the joys .. I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living ..life over again.

I think of the years.. all too few.. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact .. that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. open and see.
Not a cranky old man..Look closer .. see .. ME!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It doesn't matter whether the story/poem is genuine or not. Sure reminds me when I next see an older person, I should not brush them aside without looking at the young soul within .... we will all, one day, be there, too!
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sweet reminder..

We are brought up in an environment, where we are expected to be always achieving, moving up the ladder, as high as we can, in our career. We get caught up with learning new things, keeping up with developments, trying to be one step ahead of competition. After years of wheeling and dealing, I honestly forgot the simple pleasures of what I used to enjoy when we were young; junior staff.

As if I needed to be reminded, two things happened this weekend to remind me of the simple pleasures we have long forgotten.

So I have had volunteered to help put on make-up for members of a Choir. As it is a fund raising do, I have to do it myself, instead of paying some make-up artistes. Initially, I admit I was nervous that I would have lost my touch, after years of absence! Guess, like riding a bicycle, once we get back on one, we find we have not forgotten. Okay, so I have not forgotten the skill. But I have definitely forgotten how enjoyable and satisfying it has been. I should volunteer for more!

Then, in the short period, rushing between duty in church in the morning, and picking up what's needed for the second make-up session of the day, I noticed something red among the pots. This water lily of mine bloomed. It has been dormant for years! I have not ignored it, nor given up. It became a habit - the repotting, fertilizing and even talking to! I had a distinct thought that I have truly forgotten how beautiful and red it is.



Today's sermon was on the 'Blessed one'! Yes, I have been been blessed. But I need to be reminded. Most of all, I must not forget what I 'used to' enjoy.

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indulging..

Whilst I was in Penang, we had a wonderful buffet dinner at E&O. E&O is a very old hotel first built during the colonial times. It has been refurbished, with some of its suites named after famous guests: Sir Noel Coward, Rudyard Kipling and Herman Hesse. It is one of two hotel in our country, that I know of, that still has the old antique lift. The one qualification one needs to be a lift operator is to be at least 6.4ft tall. This is so one could reach the 'buttons'.

Front view of lift.


Of course, it serves sea food - Norwegian Salmon and fresh oysters freshly flown in from New Zealand.


Dessert has to be be marshmallow dipped in a chocolate foudue..


Vanity, vanity, all is vanity - a good excuse to indulge occassionally!
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brrrrrr.... brrrr..... brrrr......

brrr... brrr.... brrr...brrr....
Cor there is such a racket every morning. My neighbour is having renovation done. And you wouldn't believe the workers! They start work at 8am sharp! So you could say why are you still in bed? Long story!

But, the noise and drilling is really loud. I have had been able to still tolerate for an hour. Today being the third, I discovered something. My brains actually vibrates! Believe me it does. Is this part of what of what constitutes the 'out of body' experience?

Oh well! The positive side is - I am now at work by 11am!
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much ado over nothing....

I know this is a famous play by Shakespeare. However, the statment keeps popping up!

People seems to be running around in circles over small things. Things which has happened days and weeks ago, is nothing but history! Are we not suppose to clear our 'baggage' every day! Not easy, I acknowledge, as we have to live in it. But we do have a Jesus we can leave our 'baggage' with and to carry. Then, all one only needs to do is to take a moment, stop and watch the world go round - and we could see things quite clearly.

Once I was told this story, by a taoist:-
a. Imagine a tea-cup filled with water. Drop in a pebble. The pebble settles down immediately. However, the water took some time to settle.
b. Then we introduce a drop of ink, the black ink swirls gently around, with the pebble still unmoved.
c. Then we stir the water. The ink mixes with the swirling water. The water turns black. However, the pebble remains a pebble - unmoved.

Guess what am I trying to say is - hei, we are what we are! Don't get pulled into the circumstances around us. If (a), (b) and (c) represents a level of test, and we are everything but the pebble, we are lost!

BE the pebble! Sticks and stones will break our bones! But not us! We only need to remember that the 'little' pebble in us is the 'Rock of all Ages', a most solid Rock and Foundation, indeed! How else could we find a more perfect way to carry on in this 'Paul's world'?

Haiz! So simple! So hard to do, meh?
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farmville...

Cor... I was just introduced (last Tuesday) to farmville.. game in facebook.

As I am writing this blog, I am actually waiting to harvest my strawberries. It is currently 96% ready. I planted it just over three hours ago!

Had a walk-about! Came back to continue and lo behold! I have just harvested my strawberries. Now I must stay online for a little while more. My brinjals are 96% ready for harvest. This has been planted about two days ago!

Not sure if this is a good thing! However, I now am beginning to understand why one does not need to go out and can be glued to the computer. As it is I have been invited to Mafia Wars and others. Glad I did not accept.

Yup, just had news today that Greek 2 is starting on the 6th of October! Surely that would be a better alternative to this? At least my adrenalin will be going must faster than this!
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Bettas..

Okay got my first batch of betta babies after a long while....

No, this is not the alpha and beta of Greek, but our Malaysian fighting fish.

Yes, I need to stock fish to avoid mosquito larvaes developing in my water-lilly pots! Though one could actually buy the excess baby carps, rather cheaply like RM1.00 for 10, they have had been disappearing, literally! Why? Simply because there is a 'resident kingfisher' and a pair of Magpie Robins, who have had been feeding off my supply.

So in one of my trips to the fish shop, I saw an 'uncle' who was sitting there admiring his purchase. They were totally red female bettas. To meander, I decided to pick up some. Of course, Uncle and I got chatting. He was so surprised that I would know or even remotely be interested. Well, like I told him, my Granddad sparkled our interest. Many years ago, after breeding three generations, I went as far as trying to find out how to market them...

To cut the story short, not sure how the babies will turn out... cause I don't know the lineage... but extremely happy over my babies bettas.. be they red, blue, black or white!

This is almost like the male 'daddy' betta. (Image from bulletbetta.com)


This is the almost like the 'mummy' betta. (Image from oneworldinternetcafe.com)


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night forage....

I was trying to take a picture of my pink night bloomer - a water-lily. As the name denotes, it only blooms at night! Looks like it would be another night before it will bloom.

So instead, look who I found! My resident toad! Yes, it is a cool night, and he was sitting there serenading for his love! At least he was, till I rudely interrupted him!

You think he would turn into a prince - if I dare to give him a peck on his warty skin? Then again, he is toad and not a frog!



Yup! I am enjoying myself. Doing extraordinary things! But you see, I have just about a month. Yes, I just heard that Greek 2 is starting, probably early October!
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my mum's garden

Took a friend to meet my mum and for a tour in her garden. Ashamed to say that I did not know most of the plants - there are herbs and organic vegetables. It has provided the occasional dish for the dinner table.


Holy Basil - Our Malay neighbours love to fry with eggs! Or Mum boils it with ginger and onions to sooth a cough or two! I just infuse it with hot water and honey!


Most of us would think this is weed! Well, the Indonesian contractor, for whom my mum boiled soup for, swears by it! Preventive medicine for kidney stones and painful blocked urinary tract!


Yes, this is real. Not sure what species or where mum got the seeds from; but the ladies finger is at 11 inches and still growing!


A-ha! this is the flower of the ladies finger plant!
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peaceful week....

This week has been strange! Strange because it was relatively peaceful.

Peaceful as it has been raining in the morning. It is one's tendancy and so tempting to just roll over and sleep instead of rushing to work.

Peaceful especially if one drops into any of the shopping malls. Listen to the promoters, and one hears of 'no customers and no sales'. It is also time to close the account for month of August too! If we are lucky, it is peacefully flat! Doesn't help with the 1st September increase in the price of petrol. It has hit home hard to many.

Though various experts have said that their economy have bottomed out; the bottoming out period will last for the rest of the year! This is not a prophesy; but talk to the retailers and they will tell you that this 'peace' will last for a while yet. The 'buy one free one' is no longer attractive. Why? People have already bought for so many months. They will need time to consume their purchases!

Yes, it is a quiet and ominous peace, to the point of eerie-ness! It is not a pleasant sort of peace! And definitely, not the peace and joy that our Lord Jesus provides!
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Malays speaking without fear...

This is an article which represents the 'new wind' that is blowing. This 'new wind' is a by-product of the last 20 years of growth, opportunities and education provided by our government policies! We need more of such eloquent, educated, young Malaysians. They are the future of our country! It is especially so, if we, at all hope to achieve the recent, new tagline of '1Malaysia', touted by the current Prime Minister.

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'Malays speaking without fear' by Nurul Izzah Anwar, MP for Lembah, was published on August 31, 2009, 5:37pm.



I can’t say that I know Datuk Zaid Ibrahim very well. Our past encounters have been limited to a fleeting hello in front of the steps of my alma mater, the Johns Hopkins University’s School of Advanced International Studies in 2006, another chat during a reception in honour of Datuk Ambiga Sreevanesagan in June and, most recently, at the PKR’s recent EGM. It’s amazing, but perhaps unsurprising that he has in these three years evolved from an ambiguous reformist in UMNO into the conscience of all Malaysians.

I had always been impressed by his outspokenness, and his willingness to fearlessly voice out his views on issues of national importance is nothing short of inspirational. Zaid does not mince his words where many hesitate to call a spade a spade, especially where it matters the most.

An articulate Malay speaking out for a multiracial and progressive Malaysia is terribly important in this current political climate. For our own community, Zaid epitomises how the Malays might redefine ourselves, to re-imagine a world where we do not think that we are inferior or threatened but are rather confident in whom we are.

In reading Zaid’s book Saya Pun Melayu, I sense the need for Malays to embrace a new paradigm on what it means to be Malay. Many indeed are doing so and this is a heartening. “Malay” need no longer carry connotations of dependency on the state, insecurity, or the crippling feeling alienation and the lack of self-worth.

The word “Malay” can and must eventually mean a call to embrace a broader Malaysian identity, along with a true, inclusive nationalism that is proud of who we are individually but also in what we have accomplished together. We can be sure of our identities and yet still be a part of something greater than all of us — and this is something all the ethnic groups in Malaysia ought to aspire to.

Zaid’s book highlights that fact that we need to look beyond the stereotypes and take an objective, albeit positive look at our community’s accomplishments. We have made great strides in business, the arts, education and the professions. Our success extends from Lembah Pantai where Malays own vibrant businesses selling products made by Malays to the flourishing nasi lemak stalls in Kota Baru.

We attend leading universities throughout the world, increasingly through our own merit. We can count internationally recognised choreographers, painters, cartoonists, writers, and film directors amongst our numbers.

Beyond these markers, our success can more often that not be seen at home through our everyday acts of compassion and sensitivity to others, which spread to our fellow Malaysians to become a national virtue. The kindness shown towards our children, parents and neighbours is perhaps one of the most important signs of who we Malays are as a community. These are real achievements that no one can or would want to take from us.

I’m not denying that we still have a long way to go in moving our community forward, nor am I unmindful that a lot of our successes would not have been in possible without the NEP and its institutions. However, it has become patently obvious that these structures are now holding the Malays back, and that the world has changed since then.

The Malays and, as a-matter-of-fact, all Malaysians need to change as well if we want to remain relevant in this world. We need to step away from our obsession with all things racial and realise that the project of nation-building is not a zero-sum game. Malaysia can never succeed until and unless its entire people feel like they are truly a part of it.

Why then does the old paradigm of ethnic insecurity persist? Why does suspicion and acrimony towards our fellow Malaysians and they towards us still linger? Why are mainstream newspapers calling for ethnic conflict, accusing minority communities of all sorts of ludicrous plots?

The sad reality is that these myths are being perpetuated by UMNO and Barisan Nasional for their own gain. The fact is that UMNO wants to keep the Malay community under its suzerainty forever. They do this by focusing on what we have supposedly not achieved, rather than acknowledging our gains and potential.

They claim to want to protect and uplift the Malay community, but all they have been doing for the last few years is playing on their fears and prejudices. The same can be said for the Barisan components with the non-Malays. This glass-half-empty mentality is being used by UMNO/BN to protect each other and to ward off challenges to their stranglehold on power.

We’ve seen from the case of Zaid of how UMNO demonises anyone who steps out of the pattern of complete loyalty to the party and who have different ideas on how to improve the livelihoods of Malays and Malaysians. We have also as of late seen their scare tactics in action. They have labeled people as “traitors” for calling for a new path of development for Malaysia. They prefer to protect their interests rather than allow the Malaysian people — especially the Malays — to benefit from reform, less corruption and more inclusion.

UMNO also regrettably perpetuates the myth that the Malay community is perpetually under threat from their non-Malay counterparts, and that UMNO is the only party that can save them from this supposed “servitude”. This, rather than anything else, is why race relations have gotten worse in Malaysia.

You cannot expect harmony in a country where its largest ethnic group is constantly bombarded with the message that the minorities are supposedly out to get them and take away their rights. Yet, they chose to follow this tactic since they believe in the short term this will strengthen UMNO and bring Malays back to the party.

They use these “attacking” tactics because they cannot offer anything else. They have shown that they would prefer to entrench those in power rather than allow new ideas and reforms to increase our chances for greater success. There is a real danger that their short-sightedness may cost future generations of Malaysians dearly.

The fact is that Malays have nothing to fear. We are demographically the largest ethnic group in Malaysia and the birth rate is going to keep it that way. Our position in the constitution is enshrined and this isn’t going to change either.

That is what UMNO and the Malay extremists do not get, and what the community as a whole needs to understand. The non-Malays and Malays who challenge UMNO are not seeking to reduce the position of the Malays in anyway, but to defend and uplift all Malaysians. We have to understand that we are all tied together and that we all have a stake in the land. We cannot survive individually as Malays, Chinese or Indians but as Malaysians.

Our non-Malay fellow citizens are not “challenging” our rights or “insulting” or culture and religion — rather they are calling for our nascent nationhood to be allowed to achieve it’s full potential than for us to remain stuck in our ethnic and mental ghettos. The liberals and moderates amongst the non-Malays also suffer from the depredations of extremists within their own communities — they deserve our support as well. The wave of reactionary politics that is engulfing us can only be turned back if progressive Malaysians stand firm against their threats and untruths.

While it is true that much more needs to be done to address those who have not benefited — for all Malaysians — the focus on what we don’t have rather on what we have accomplished only undermines us. We need to imagine a better future, for Malays and Malaysians — this will incidentally make it easier for all of us to achieve what we might lack.

The Malaysia of tomorrow cannot be one in which we are blinded by fear and negativity. The first step in imagining and defining a better future for all of us is to open our eyes and speak out like Zaid and others like him.
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Balloon Buzz..

I should give some acknowledgement to my siblings' business. It's all about balloons!

And I must record this real story. My Dad invited his friend into the shop! They are both octogenarians! After walking round the shop, the friend asks my Dad: sell 'fie-por' (hydrogen filled-balloons) also can? Reason for such unbelief is due to the fact that balloons are not necessities but an indulgence! This is especially so during the Octogenarian's generation, where every little penny is frugally spent on food or saved!

Balloon business is big in the United States and UK. Malaysia is catching up, too! As our country's middle class grows there is a demand for more novelties! Giving a bouquet is an alternative to giving flowers! Balloons especially foil balloons last longer! Balloons also adds to the decor during festivities and celebrations!

Yes, it has been doing well for the last 10years! So check it out!
Be creative! Give Balloon bouquets instead of flowers!













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