finishing line

Had a big do in my house. Thought I would use it as a subtle form of spreading Christmas cheer to the non-christian side of the family.

Great success re turnout, but terribly under - catered ie catered for 40 more than double turned up. Not my fault. Left the invites to my mum. Need to say thank you for the local satay man, Pakcik Ali - who served up an additional 100 sticks. Well, at least there are no left-overs!

Streets are wonderfully quiet. Three times a year, I get to enjoy the peace and quietness of KL my hometown; when all these 'foreigners' go away, back to their villages. No traffic jams and mad drivers on the street. I could even ride my bicycle, safely, all the way down to Petaling Street, like I used to eons ago.

Looks like I have to abandon plans of enjoying the last long weekend of 2008. Sigh! Have been summoned to travel in January 09. So I have just sorted out the materials for reading immediately. My last three!

Extremely grateful for arriving at the finishing line of 2008

Really looking forward, with Him by my side, to a Blessed 2009 .

Big day

There is reason for celebration today for ...

and yes, the candles are just getting too many for my little cupcake....

and it's Christmas

Ocassionally we get a little reminder of female power...
none more so at Christmas.

It was a Mary that gave birth to Jesus on Christmas day..
It was female reindeers that made it possible too....
Read this little antidote.. Just saw a NatGeo documentary mentioning the same facts. ::::::::::::::::::::::
REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME :
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game,
while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year,
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore,according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known..ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost!.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Merry Christmas and Blessed New Year!

the EvE of

Today, as the EvE of, has been a strange day. It is Eve of Christmas. It is also the EvE of my 8th year-young-birth-day-into-Christ. For the better part of this afternoon, I was in the warehouse - packing. Not packing Christmas presents, but packing stocks for delivery; the last lot for the year. Tomorrow, there will be a 40 and 20 foot container to unpack. Yes, I am working.

Currently, I am more emotionally drained than tired. Perhaps it is an after effect of yesterday. I ended the day - with a nasty mail to a trading partner, threatening CBT; and talking to a young friend who have had a lesson in the hard-knocks of, what I call, the 'real life'. Both had one thing in common. We are talking about behaviours of Christians in the secular world; and whether it has affected our faith.

Issue is how do we embody Christ in every thing we do and which ever 'world' we are in - ie marry if not narrow the gap between what I call 'my secular life' and 'my church life'.

Recently, in a Eagles team lecture, I was taught that we must be God-Centered ie replace the mission or vision statements with God-Centeredness statements. Easy to say not easy to do. For many of us, as we strive to multi-task daily, how do we keep Him centered? He is the tinest of dot in our mind and furthest skewed to the left or right of our heart. Maybe we should adopt the Islamic style of dropping everything five times a day, for prayers? In this aspect, I envy pastors and theological lecturers. As they move mostly in 'a Christian environment', therefore, they are more likely to embody a Christ-like behaviour and make God Centered decisions 24seven?

Re whether it has affected our faith - I am grateful for the hours of theological lectures and assignments!!! With a bit more knowledge of various attributes of God, examples of fellow Christians behaving well or badly or even that the good is allowed to suffer as in JOB, one learns to think and discern. At least I could now say - 'no! don't blame God; it is just a human trait or/and a result of it'.

So, on this EvE, I again re-affirm my choice and faith:
"Because he has set his love upon ME,
therefore, I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known MY Name.
he shall call upon ME, and I will answer him
I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver and honour him
.... and show him my salvation"
KJV; Psalm 91: 14-15
Book Four - The Eternity of God and Man's Fraility

Yes, indeed, God has been extremely kind and faithful!!! We even close the year, today, with a very respectable top and bottom-line! I certainly look forward to this year-end's reward!!! Next year will be a new journey!

Christmas Cards

After a couple of such intense 'writings' I should talk about some frivolous topics.

I have received three 'real' Christmas cards. It is real because it is not an e-card. Not that I do not like e-card. A greeting is a greeting. I must say that e-cards are getting more creative and some are really good and nostalgic ones - Dean Martin - Christmas in the snow; and Celine Dion's - It is Christmas.

Opening a real Christmas cards allows for suspense. First, one looks at the stamp. I miss collecting first day covers stamps for Christmas. Then we try to guess who it is from. Then a smile breaks out with the personal hand-written message. One gets transported back for a moment in time, to a foreign land and past memories of the younger and carefree days - of making snowman and snow fights in the freezing night; the Sainbury wines and the half cooked turkey. Memories indeed!!!

Back to reality. We have not received any 'real' Christmas Card from our trading partners or suppliers. Then again, we did not send out any either. Sure is a reflection of the days ahead.

So lets enjoy Christmas - religious or commercial.

Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year!

finally an Apple....

Yup! finally I received an Apple.
By Apple, I mean an A (actually A-). It has always eluded me.

Now that the euphoria has settled down, I should also reflect.

Yes, I have had been told we are not supposed to worry about grades, when it comes to the studying of His Word. First, I was guilty and worried for this ambitious pursue for excellence. Then I found out that there are others who feels the same. I still believe we should not compromise.

So far, yours truly is only an average three plus GPA student. If not for the less 'theological subjects', averaging up the grades, it would have been a much longer haul and light at the end of the tunnel very distant.

The greatest difficulty faced is the lack of Exposure. Exposure as in-depth knowledge of the various theories/subjects. We no longer have the excuse of not enough reading materials with generously donated on-line journals. However, we still have the excuse of lack of time, juggling work and reading. Maximizing one's capacity (phrase taught to me by a trainer) has its opportunity cost of social life and even work responsiblity.

The lack of Exposure to Christianity and the community of faith, is also of significance. I acknowledge and realise that one is less able to 'discuss'. This is especially so when it comes to relating various theories with the current situation.

Last but not least, of course, the lack of knowledge of Greek and Hebrew is so frustrating. I can't compare it's innuedos etc.; Or it is so time consuming trying. Take for example, I laid my hands on this really intellectual article. It is spated with Greek! Wait a minute, it is Hebrew! So it is a scramble for Bibleworks.

Oh well, just for this reason alone, I guess it is a good enough reason to continue my pursue of His Word. At least it will satisfy my curiosity?

I am still thinking!

kor tung

Today or at least 21st Dec 08 is a special day, for two reasons.

For a long while now Kor Tung or Winter Solistice, has fallen on the 22nd instead of the 21st Dec. So 21st Dec 2008 is a record.

Kor Tung in old chinese history, is the last day of winter. The next day one starts preparing the fields for planting, in time for spring harvest. Kor Tung is also supposed to be more important than the lunar new year. Not sure why! Apparently families are to gather together for a meal; and get ready for planting the next day.

As Overseas Chinese, especially as children, it is the day we get to play and make funny shapes of 'tong-yuen'; much like plastersine except we do it with rice flour, cook it and eat it.

Since it is such an important day, and also near the end of 2008, I guess we should reflect on the year that have passed. Of course, we could always have done better; but I have learnt to mellow. I couldn't have asked for more and definitely have nothing to complain about, but thanksgiving.

I have long decided not to have resolutions, as we never keep them. So here's to another year .......
Another year of trials and tribulations.
Another year of moulding and polishing.
All for HIS Glory and Kingdom!

This weekend has also been memorable.
1. Attended the Cantata, A Night of Miracles, at Pudu. Choir sang heavenly. Joanna as always ha s been a great conductor; not to mention the perfect solo rendition by our classmate Pearlie Ng.

2. Had a thought:- One community of faith's loss is another's gain. HIS Grace is never restricted to the big and powerful. Never have I seen the statement 'small is beautiful' personified so perfectly. HIS Spirit is truly with the faithful.

3. When it comes down to the bare basics only two human beings matters in life. Whatever have had been said or done, it has been my choice. It is now confirmed that I have done right by it! We had a wonderful Kor Tung dinner of fresh oysters, salmons, and goat cheese in an apt celebrative ambience.

I am at rest!
Praise the Lord, O my Soul! Praise HIM indeed!

UMH 441

After attending lectures on Methodism, two things stuck on my mind.

The first is a part of the assignment where we have to explore John Wesley's methods of spreading Scriptural Holiness. Yes, we were taught that one of the ways was through the Hymns John and Charles wrote. The other was the statement posed by the lecturer to me - 'don't forget that as a liturgist, you can tell the pastor that we should sing such and such a hymn'.

So one Sunday, whilst sitting at the pew, I turned to the Content page of our UMH.
Lo behold, there are 735-57 = 679 hymns (+/-).

Since then I have counted and discovered I know how to sing only 95 or 14% of the hymns. I am not sure if this is a good percentage or average. I could probably do a whole thesis on this. We must of course take into account that I have only converted and been going for Service for the last seven years; and frequent 3 seperate methodist church services.

Anyway, with this exercise and to my delight, I found UMH 441, which I have never come across, have not sung nor been taught to sing, all these years. Not satisfied, I seeked out a pianst who has been playing almost every Sunday, in a 110 year old methodist church, for the last 30years and still is. I asked whether she knows or have had ever played this hymn even once. To my horror, the answer is negative to both queries.

So what is the big deal with UMH 441?
Okay! The title of UMH441 is 'What does the Lord require' .... from Micah 6:8.

Considering that for four years, I have carried this verse in my heart, worn a t-shirt which quotes the verse, and don't know that there is hymn written from it, nor know how to sing it, is a great shame and loss. This is compared to that fact that I read about, participated and wear a t-shirt supporting RPK, over a short one year span!

What about the 2000 odd Congregation, which the church boast of at its peak? The verse may have been preached a couple of times in the last 30years, but it has not been reinforced through repeated singing.

Incidentally, UMH 441 is categorized under the Social Holiness section. Do we see a reason why we oft forget, may be don't know or perhaps even choose to ignore - to 'do justly, love mercy and walk humbly..' ???

Woah!!! - with this little atom of knowledge, I suppose I could strut up to three different pastors and ask them to teach us UMH 441. I will pray to be subtle and face-giving when I do it. However, I am still a long way from answering the last part of my assignment ie how is John Wesley's Sanctification and Scriptural Holiness of relevence to today's churches! Any pointers?

malaysian scene

I was sent a mail from this blog recently.
http://rights2write.wordpress.com/

I have to say that I am impressed. Impressed by the content of articles written. Even the people who response gives mature replies. Then again, they are mature in every sense of the word. Proud to know that they are people who dare to write what they think.

bringing up parents......

I love the cartoon strip - 'bringing up Father' by George McMamus. I think it's the time of our lifes where and when, we or I could relate to the stories told.

What I am trying to say is - my parents, really sprung a surprise on us at yesterday's dinner table. The two old folks have decided to take a train down to Seremban; by themselves; A cousin will pick them up, with whom they will stay for four days, at Port Dickson!

Why? Why do you need to do that?

"Oh, school holidays are going to be over soon. We wont have time; what with having to pick up the kids after school, for tuition, piano classes etc..."

Oh Dear, here we thought we are doing them a favour by keeping them and their faculties active! They need their space, too? Guess it also shows that they feel closetted with us harping and watching their every move. Strange how the roles seems to be reversed nowadays!

I also know that away from us, people will acclaim loudly - 'wah, uncle and aunty, you sure don't look in your 80's'. Bad choice of compliment! As one would be innudated with a whole life story of how and what one needs to do to keep healthy ...... then it is a case of how well, their children are doing, and how many grand children they have and how many A's they did for SPM, PMR

Moral of the story:

• what ever time spent, that is considered enough, as apportioned by us, is never enough, for those who spend a whole life 'bringing' us up. Are they feeling 'less' appreciated?
• I remember my grandfather very well. He takes milk and bread with kaya and butter, to my school for my recess break.
• But I don't seem to recall much of my Dad when he was young. As teachers and eventually retiring as Head Master, they had two jobs in order to keep food on the table. Their whole life savings has been spent on our education.
• Are we repeating the same mistake - going through this same cycle of life.

IT dependency

Never realise till now how dependent we are on IT.

We have had some breakdown over the weekend. For the most part of today, we were scrambling around, literally all over town, trying to access and download our EDI purchase orders etc.

After numerous phone calls, Streamyx promised to send some technicians over - only in the next two days to fix problems.

Oh well, guess this is the time to clean my table and do some filing!

of yoga and holy people....

I am playing catch up with my blog..
About two weeks ago, there were a lot of news on yoga ie One must not practise Yoga as it is non-Islamic due to its religious conotations and orgin. I wasn't going to blog about it, as certain quarters of our own Christian faith does not 'approve' of it either, and for the same reason, too. There are also certain quarters who fear that eventually, even Tai chi's etc will be similarly looked at.
I have had joined yoga classes. I subscribe to my teacher's view, a caucasian lady, who is more interested in its stretching exercise aspects than that of its origin.
But what got me going was this 'joke' sent to me.

......yoga ruled to be non-Islamic. the mufti says Kamasutra is permitted but with limited moaning and groaning, and strictly without chanting OGod.. ooo God...i am c.....g...

Here I have to say I am tempted to agree with the mufti. We cannot be 'chanting' the name of our Lord in vain! and in any circumstances???
....Smile with me!!! ... I don't wish to be an uptight Christian, probably am an occassionally naughty one, living in Paul's real world.....

HIS handiwork

This happened on Dec 1st 2008. As I stepped out of the car to open the gate, I looked up at the clear dark sky. I saw a pair of eyes and lips looking down at me. It was the brightest and kindest of eyes and the most loving of smile. I stood for a good ten minutes, mesmerised.

Then HE spoke to me.
and said - 'hi kiddo, here I AM'.

......Yes, Lord, I have oft doubted
and have asked 'where are YOU'.
......Yes, I oft wondered
whether you are looking down at me.
......Yes, I stand most humbly corrected..
Yes, it is possible to feel 'warmth in the heart'

and YOU do love to stop us right in our tracks,
and show us the beauty of YOUR handiworks

Though I did not have a camera then, I am glad that so many people have had and the moment was recorded forever. Scientists and Astrologians may tell me that I have just witnessed 'an unusual planetary positioning of Venus and Jupiter and the moon'. As far as I am concerned, the man upstairs, my God, has appeared before me.

Brewing away...

Often, we do not or may not want to be aware of what is brewing.
When it does explode, it is often painful and bloody...

On a daily basis, during a sunny morning, the sky brewed and poured rain upon us in the afternoon. So far it is predictable coz it is the north east monsoon.
On a personal basis, today, I just exploded in the office. After which, I spent the rest of the afternoon surfing the net. It's Friday anyway!
In Mumbai, in order to be heard, some mujahedins brewed for months, , before carrying out its bloody plans.
In Malaysia, our government is brewing about the economy. It is brewing, as we don't actively talk about it in the papers. But walk into restauarants, and the owner will tell you how bad it is.
So should we brew away? No, but we still do it anyway! We need to be consciously aware of the brewing! Otherwise we take it out on someone or something!
For one, I have visitors. They are the most lovely people I know. Selfishly, I look forward to them leaving tomorrow. I miss my space.

I miss the one 'companion that was so companionable as solitude'. (Henry David Thoreau, 1817-1862).

Celebrating Life

I have been rather bothered by the economy and trying to set an achieveable budget for 2009.
Today I visited my uncle and tomorrow I will be attending another wake service. Suddenly the economy and budget does not matter any more.

Though we know that death is the destiny of every man (Eccl 7:2); How do we, the living:-

• look at death in the face literally?
• talk or try to cheer a man who is in so much pain that death is actually a relief?
• live with the forthcoming loss?
• hold our tears back!
• told them enough, that 'I love you'

So let us remember our Creator while we have life...
Let us do the only duty of man... fear God and keep his commandments...

Let us banish anxiety from our heart ...

Let us see the sun ... in everything we do ...

Let us ... celebrate life ... in the forthcoming days ....

(quotations from Ecclesiastes)

Structures in Life

The toss of the coin decided this title, as I was trying to decided between 'Academia Freedom' or 'Structures in Life'.

Below is another controversy in the horizon. In Malaysia, if I have the intelligence to come out with a book like below, I would have been held under ISA.

What is of significance, is that in the academia world, one is supposedly taught and encouraged to think. Academia freedom or just 'Freedom' however, is not as Free as one wishes it to be. Like it or not, there are rules and regulations to be followed in any 'structures' in society.

I do not know whether content is true or not. I am sure it is as controversial as the 'Da Vinci Code'. We can be assured, though, that somewhere, some one would now well be planning another jihad! Neither can we deny that it may be another CIA / Zionist supported propaganda. A couple of years down the road, if some brave film director get the copyright to the book, we may have some new millionaires.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Professor Hired for Outreach To Muslims Delivers a Jolt --- Islamic Theologian's Theory: It's Likely The Prophet Muhammad Never Existed November 15, 2008
(Copyright (c) 2008, Dow Jones & Company, Inc.). For full article:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122669909279629451.html

German academics split. Michael Marx, a Quran scholar at the Berlin-Brandenburg Academy of Sciences, warned that Prof. Kalisch's views would discredit German scholarship and make it difficult for German scholars to work in Muslim lands. But Ursula Spuler-Stegemann, an Islamic studies scholar at the University of Marburg, set up a Web site called solidaritymuhammadk alisch.com and started an online petition of support.
Alarmed that a pioneering effort at Muslim outreach was only stoking antagonism, Munster University decided to douse the flames. Prof. Kalisch was told he could keep his professorship but must stop teaching Islam to future school teachers.
The professor says he's more determined than ever to keep probing his faith. He is finishing a book to explain his thoughts. It's in English instead of German because he wants to make a bigger impact. "I'm convinced that what I'm doing is necessary. There must be a free discussion of Islam," he says.
--- Almut Schoenfeld in Berlin contributed to this article. License this article from Dow Jones Reprint Service

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

B's take on Gen Y

This is a friend's point of view re Gen Y. This is especially so for those of us, who are at the helm, trying to achieve company's objective. It is frustrating indeed!
:::::::::::::::::
I say we eliminate them from the face of the earth altogether
then we train gen z in camps all over the world to behave better
or be fed to the alligators
and the gen after that we can genetically modify them
to do as they're told
that will get rid of the problem
'bling to the people'
from Bs
::::::::::::::::::::

Yes, it is so tempting. If only we could wipe the slate clean and start a whole new Gen Y....

Gen Z and Ai-Dee-Ten-Tee

Okay I have a confession to make. I sort of learnt how to 'beautify' my blog because my nephews, who are in their early teens, gave me 'lessons' on it. Believe me there are more lessons lined up. I mean I have not picked up how to add the various types of skins, links, url... etc., etc., etc., yet.

Today, I received a mail which made me laugh and nearly fall off the chair! Hence, I just have to copy it here for 'eternity'......

::::::::::::::::::Joke::::::::::::::::::::::

I was having trouble with my computer.
So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away I called after him 'So, what was wrong?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid but nonetheless inquired, 'An ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Richard grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?''
'No' I replied.'Write it down' he said 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote down I D 1 0 T
I used to like the little shit.

:::::::::::::::::: End - writer unknown :::::::::::::::::::::

And You would have thought it is our generation who beget-ted them and the computer!

Fortunately, we still have our faculties and humility (?) to Learn new things!

Our Choice

I have spent quite a number of hours learning to 'beautify' my blog; and state what I have stated!

Then I received a mail, through a third party, purportedly written and Posted by Super Admin
Tuesday, 18 November 2008 11:13. Title of article is Tax-payer paid holiday for: .... the great Pretender to the throne, Najib Tun Razak, accompanied by aspiring 'First Lady' Rosmah, ... heading for a grand trip abroad the government's VIP Jet to the APEC meeting in Peru on 22-23 November. After the two-day meeting they will proceed for a week-long taxpayer-paid holiday in Washington DC, from 24 to 29 November to take advantage of the Thanksgiving holidays. This, as everyone knows, is the peak holiday shopping period in the US! The couple will therefore be making a great contribution to the recession-plagued US economy......

What is my reaction to such informations? Assuming this information, plus many others, are true:-

a. sitting alone in our armchair - there is this helpless anger! 'S..t' though I fall within the highest bracket of taxable income, like everything else, and there is nothing I could do about it!

b. then I tell myself that I really don't want to know. Infact I do not want to be innudated with so much information. Ignorance is (mostly) bliss!

c. Why ignorance? To quote what was said to me once - 'what is there to talk about if you can't do anything about it'? This statement also reminds me of a recent argument with a very good friend. She won't even exercise her one constitutional right to vote, as she believes that her one vote will not effect any change. You know we do have to agree that it is her constitutional right to think this way. Neither would I bother to quote here all those famous sayings - of how the bad trives because the good did nothing.

c. in actual fact, generations of us semuts have survived when the gajah's did what they did. Some semuts have even made it very rich!

So what is
i. my concluding thought: - It is our choice! A choice, we, Anak Malaysia, have made. So live with it!

ii. 'articulation of my inner-self':- 'Be Still Oh my soul! and know who is Lord'.

iii. my worldly self:- Actually (ii) helps to calm the dissonance of (i). We must believe Abraham Lincoln's statement - that we can bluff most people most of the time, but not all the people all the time! The only choice we are left with other than turning up at the odd candlelight vigil is to believe that we just have to 'wait upon the Lord'.

tabula rasa, again!

Okay, I have checked out what 'Tabula rasa' means.
First - rosa, as in my previous mail is wrong in its spelling! Rosa in Latin means rose!

Then my little understanding of the statement - 'a blank sheet to an artist is like a tabula rasa for the Exiles'!

Wallah! According to Wikipeidia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabula_rasa):
Tabula rasa in Latin means : blank slate.

It refers to the epistemological thesis that individual human beings are born with no built-in mental content, in a word, "blank", and that their entire resource of knowledge is built up gradually from their experiences and sensory perceptions of the outside world:-

In Western philosophy, traces of the idea that came to be called the tabula rasa appear as early as the writings of Aristotle, in the Western canon, his treatise Περι Ψυχης (De Anima or On the Soul). In the 13th century, St. Thomas Aquinas brought the Aristotelian and Avicennian notions to the forefront of Christian thought. In fact, our modern idea of the theory is mostly attributed to John Locke's expression of the idea in An Essay Concerning Human Understanding in the 17th century. As understood by Locke, tabula rasa meant that the mind of the individual was born "blank", and it also emphasized the individual's freedom to author his or her own soul. Each individual was free to define the content of his or her character - but his or her basic identity as a member of the human species cannot be so altered.

Look at the names and associations of the Christian fathers! Irony is : I thought I have moved on in life! I am brought back to the same 'clean slate' issue again. Oh well, every now and then , we are reminded that the Lord has his plan for us! This is scary! I can't run away from Him, as in having 'two life' - a compartmentalised one in the secular and another - a dabble in theology.

Three decades ago, when I read psychology as a major, I have always claimed to be a behaviourist, verses a Freudian psychologist. A behaviourist believes that all humans are born with a clean slate. Yes, our attitudes and behaviours are very much influenced by our parents, peers and society we live in. Over the years, I have also learnt that Taoism taught that man comes into this life with only 30% that is God-given. The rest of the 70% are what we make of it. Yes, we have a choice. A choice to 'get out of the rut', we are born with and in. According to the Bible, even God gives us a choice!

Back to the question - why is the Exile a tabula rasa for the Israelites? Well, they have sinned so badly that they need to be physically removed from their old ways? Like the artists with a blank sheet of paper before him, the Israelities Disaporas have a clean slate before them, starting anew, as slaves of the Babylonians, no longer the 'choice' children of God! Hard and painful, though deserving, lesson from God indeed!

So we study History to learn of the mistakes of our forefathers! Yup we learn the history! Do we avoid making the same mistakes? No, I really don't believe that we, as a human race, have. This is the cynical, secular chils speaking!

Then again, I must not forget the parable of the Wheat and the Tares! Daily, as an individual, I must not forget to consciously choose to be a Wheat; otherwise I will be burnt as a Tare!
Phew! What a thought!

Roast Goose

Oh! Well, I have been home for two days and have not written. Is being home, boring that I have nothing to say? On the Contrary! I have loads to say - just that reality and daily responsiblities are sometimes difficult and painful to express!

Having been away for about 10days, I came back and saw how 'old', the ‘older’ generation have become. I guess, we need to be away for a spell to realize it. I am glad that I bought and carted the roast goose etc. I was 10kg overweight, which I have had to hand carry! But I am glad that I have indulged my Dad! I called the Saturday night before and told my parents that I have bought a roast goose, siew nguk and char siew for Sunday night dinner. So my mum invited her brother and sister-in-law over too. Looking at the four old folks, I realized ‘really how old they have become’!

Getting old is not an easy thing. At 84, my Dad still drives the grandchildren to school. Stopping him, would hasten many things! At 84, he borrows books from the library at Chinese Assembly Hall, and reads the likes of the autobiography of Mao Tze Tung. He thinks I should adopt Mao's strategies of motiving my staff at work. Although it is at least 15years too late, I have spent at least 15minutes listening without rebutting! It is the time spent together, not the details which matters! But alas, his motorskill could no longer match his mental faculties. I dread to think of the day when it happens to us!

Over dinner, my Dad, still wants to ‘run the show’, giving directions to us etc. In addition, because he is deaf he was ‘shouting on top of his voice’. There are at least 16 of us, in the ‘small’ house! Imagine the commotion!

Beneath this ‘shouting and establishing his position’, the reality is his motor-faculty is so much slower. His nose-phlegm was running down his nose. He did not want to or probably did not realize it, to ask us for a tissue nor tried to wipe it off with his sleeve.

May I share that I could barely hold my tears back? I know that death is knocking at the door, just a matter of when. When I do pray, I dare not even ask for more days – just that God’s will be done! I only hope that I have done what I need to and I will have no regrets when it happens!

tabula rosa?

I have just booked my hotel transfer to the airport. I will be getting a morning call at 5am! Transport leaving at 5.50am. Well, Guess i will not be sleeping. New mind! I have bought two new books. The one and only 'Hebrew for Dummies' on the shelf - have not opened it, but there is a CD; think I am the really dummy to have bought it.

The other book is 'Appreciating Modern Art'. Jim Thompson must have been a Christian, as many of his comments relates quite a bit to the Bible. Bloody Expensive! But thought it should be relevent for my Exile - Creative question!!!!!. Anyway I 'saw' this statement - a blank piece of paper to the artist is like a 'tabula rosa' to the Exiles! Don't know what it means Need to check out the meaning of 'tabula rosa'; think the lecturer mentioned the word, but I did not ask.

Had roast-goose-drumstick rice for dinner! The lady at the cashier counter have had to make such a racket that all the customers just have to look up at this person who pays HK$55.00 for a dinner! Ai yah!

Okay, bought a roast goose for HK$140.00 - it used to cost me HK$300.00 each. Anway, I hope it is not a roast duck paddled off as roast goose. I wouldn't have know any better! May be it is because I bought it from the Wan Chai Market! There is also the afamous siew ngok and char-siew! Think my dad is getting on now! It is about time, I should let him indulge; have not done that for the last two years! That's my excuse!

people mountain, people ocean

Went out to TsimShaTsui just now. I am so good... spent relatively little this trip. Will do a preliminary packing and see if I have space to pack a 'siew ngo' home for my dad for Sunday 16th dinner.

People mountain people ocean - as in the mandarin peribahasa. I just love to sit on the pavement and look at the numerous number of people walking pass. One really wonders where they are going, what they are thinking.

I had a thought. I will challenge the next person I meet who talks to me about mission. I will challenge them to talk about Christ 'in-this and to-this mountain and ocean of people'. I know it will not be easy. Stopping them in their tracks is already a challenge, nothwithstanding having to 'change their mind'. What a lot of praying for humans; what a lot of work for the Holy Spirit. In fact, it would seem so romantic to go on missions to some nepalese or african villages, who are in dire physical needs.

Did not blog last night; I could muster just about enough energy to clear my mail.
Not sure if it is age catching up, but it is so tiring to be on one's feet the whole day. After which we were invited to dinner by Hans and Britta. Well, a couple of things about dinner - we had cantonese at Royal Garden Chinese restuarant. Deep furrow on Han's brow when he have had to pay the bill. Must be bloody expensive. Sharks fin was not worth its price, peking duck's okay. We had a bottle of white and red wine from Chile. Incidentally Hans owes a vineyard at the French Italian border! To make up for the exhorbitant cost of the meal, my Boss promised to be number one in their clients list! What a tall order!

Okay, today is the last day of Cosmoprof. Our Manufacturer and shareholders have had a big cheshire-cat smile on his face. One would if one has just been on a spending/shopping spree; we are talking millions US$ here - bought a new machine!!! Oh well, it just means we will be conducting more clearance of old packaging and introduction of new ones! 2009 will be a busy one; and I really, really have to finish my assigmnets/MCS in the early part of the year!

Will be spending time with Yvonne tomorrow whilst Doc does his presentation.

Then it's home! Yeah! Baby!
I always love leaving for Hong Kong! I also love leaving Hong Kong too. It's great to go home to our snail-paced and 'still growing' nation!

Generation Gap

I had a right telling off by my friends. I am suppose to change my attitude otherwise i would not be able to transcend the generation Gap. What generation gap? It is not between my parents and me. But with the young executives that i am suppose to employ.

Briefly,
a. I am a Baby Boomer.
b. My friends in their 35-50 are from GEneration X
c. My 'assistants' in my office, if I wish to have one is from Generation Y - 21 to 34
d. My Nephews and nieces are from Generation Z - 20 and below.

Generation Y is a direct creation of the Baby Bloomers. Technically it is not my fault, since i have no kids. But our generation created them. Hence we either 'eliminate' or 'manage' them.

Got to read up before I write more over this issue, when I get home.

Snake Soup

I just have to record this:-

I had snake soup yesterday ... not that it taste great, but it is traditional.
Traditional as we must have snake soup, when the weather is just turning cooler, signifying end of autumn and beginning of Winter; from 28C over the weekend to 21C - 12th Nov 08. Is it any good? I mean the soup. Well it is no big deal; cause I could not recognise the snake meat - just the traditional black fungus and the msg which gives me a thirst.

Work? Tiring; as we walked the whole day. Anything new? Yup - baked eyeshadows and blush. Baked? Yes, the sheer, gloss looking ones. The appearance looks great; but the sheerness of the formula will not be popular. Hence it is a real cosmetic change for the cosmetics. Some nice looking packaging though.

Lunch - I had ox-tongue curry rice. Why? I ordered it because it was first on the list. I always feel hassled by these HongKees. They are always rushing around. Not that they are impatient just that they want you to eat and get out as fast as possible; so that they could serve and collect monies from the next lot of customers. This is called ROI of table space; after all, space is money in this space constrained island of Hong Kong!

Dinner today - first I have been looking for my nephew's favourite cow tendon's soup for the last two nights. For the life of me, I just could not find it, think rental is just too high and they have moved. However, I just can't give up as i love it too. So I asked the tan-tart man; who directed me to another store.

Did I enjoy my cow-tendon noodles? Like Lunch, again I feel so hassled. I was placed just infront of the door of the cooking place which leads to the rest of the shop. My table was vibrating as it was placed next to and touching the huge refrigerator. In front of me, the Boss was shouting at the top of his voice when ever a dish is prepared. Then his staff will take the food, with the tray and bowl literally flying/sailing over my head. So the longer I sat there, the lower I crouch. I must really learn to eat faster. But, but eating should never be rushed! Food should always be enjoyed! Still it was worth it, I mean the tendons and noodles I had.

Moral of the story - I must really watch out and exercise when I get home. Got to get back to my smoothies and clear the system. I seem to be eating so much of the gizzards and funny food, that I would not have been eating at home. Oh well, they are not available at home any way. ..

Sacrilege and Exile!

Right i have left the country for 24hrs *3 now. So much have happened.
I forgot to bring my notebook. so i have to make this Brief as it cost me HK$25.00 per half hour.

a. Sacrilege? - it is so devastating to get an sms that the police charged a crowd when they were in the middle of singing the National Anthem! It is nothing short of sacrilege and great hyprocrisy, when one could be arrested under the ISA for making fun of the 'national anthem' and suggesting 'flying the national Flag upside down'.

b. Kept save? - this is the second time when I am away from the country, from such excitement and historical moment. One is the first Bersih rally and now this MPPJ saga. However, I was present at the recent coup in thailand.

c. Different class? Was with my ex-colleagues and friends. Yes, i had a great time, wonderful expensive and posh food and restuarants. They have had just been briefed to CUT, FREEZE AND CUT expenses. However, the foreseeable future would not affect their foreseeable livelihood.

However, I took a break today! I stayed in my hotel room. Went out briefly to stock up for breakfast etc. Most importantly, I need the space and time off to 'think' if not to recover, reflect or catch up with the 'mental, emotional and spiritual shock'?

d. Exile ? - of course i needed this time 'in Exile'. Who doesn't? First i had three days of heavy and serious input of the 597-593 BC. Then over three hours I was transported thousands of miles away, into a totally different environment! It is not the slavery of the Babylonian Empire, but a society of the rich and wealthy. Yes, we are the creme de la creme employees of the big multinationals. And most scary - God does not exist in this world.

have to seriously pray and think about things when i get back!
by 2010, will I be:-
a. a Mad DIV
b. a Mad Cow
c. or just an ordinary Mad woMAN

November

I love November.

It is the busiest and also and my most relaxing month.
Busiest - as it is a month away from the end of the year. If we have not achieved the year's target by now, it is a bit too late. November is also the begining of the peak of the cosmetic business.

Yet is is relaxing. Relaxing as I get to go for my annual Cosmoprof trip to Hong Kong. This year, I have extended my stay to visit and spend some time with my friends. Need to trade news on the economy and stuff.

This year too we really have to work hard looking for new packaging etc. I hope there are many to choose from. With the global economy the way it is, competition should be plenty.. I hope we get some brillant designs.

Tomorrow will be a start to a long two weeks. 5th to 7th - off for my last lectures. Saturday, 8th Nov, I will be off to Hong Kong. I will be back only on the 16th! Yes, I look forward to the siew ngoh, siew yuk, wantan mee, ngau lum mee! I even look forward to my after-hours cheap pizza for breakfast!

It is good to go away for a while. I miss that. Going away, only makes one realise how lucky we are in Malaysia. Our pace is so slow. We are so contended and most of the world passes us by without us noticing!

Keeping up with the Times

Okay, I have just gone into the blogs of my nephews and nieces! Puts me to shame. Hence I have spent the last two hours, 'upgrading my blog and learning how to add links.

As of the posting of this entry, I officially consider myself a 'blogger'.

There are so many new toys to play with. Who needs to get married?

Hallo, Hegel, you are wrong! In these post modern times, every man is an island. In fact we are all islands, connected to one another, in a world of islands!

increasing threshold for pain

Okay, I have signed up for Exile on 5th Nov - my last paper! Yippee Yeah? Not so fast. Not yet. Today is Wed 29th October 2008. I have 3 outstanding assignment, one budget, Jan 08's promotion to complete by 5th Nov.

Yes, we are to maximize our capacity! But as my piano teacher said - I think you have got too much on my hands! Hence maximizing our capacity is also one way to increase our threshold for pain. Also thought of the phrase - fetish for pain! I don't even need to proof any thing to anyone least of all myself! Then again, am I running away from something? Time alone?

NO! I would love to potter away in my garden. I have to cut a tree that may break my drain. The 'tares' in the lawn are one and a half feet tall. I need to watch out for the gardener, who has disappeared for his Diwali holiday. But my plants need time and space to grow. Just like humans, if one love another too much, one stifles them. Well, I don't stifle my plants. Not exactly. I do over-trim them. I kill them by over-feeding them with too much fertilisers.

So I turn my attention by attending lectures. Lo Behold, I have to choose a 'killer'. All in the name of learning from the best! I will get no sympathies from my peers and my lecturer because I made the choice! 5000 words for a hopeful C+?

My choice or my folly as one of my peers said of me! My opportunity cost of a carat!

But if we don't consciously make the choice, we do not know our limitations. The sky is the limit right? Yes! So this smart alec choose! Yes, this fool chooses where the brave would not go!

I could only but laugh at myself!

I am one of many

When I first started writing blog, my objective was similar to 'putting our yoke unto Jesus'. It actually worked very well initially. I simply write away my inner worries, emotions and thoughts and then send it to cyberspace. It doesn't matter who reads it; cause I am a nonetity and nobody in cyberspace knows me. It's my cyberspace diary.

However, this 'objective' has ceased to work. Over the last few months, there were so much 'happenings' in our society, both political and economic issues. It has effected me. Yet, I am now just writing in spits and spats, if at all.

A good excuse is that I no longer find that I am alone in 'my struggle'. Not alone? Struggle? What struggle? Yes, not alone in our national struggle.

Of course, my first and one excuse for not updating or utitlising my blog is that I have had handed in eight assigments in the last year. For the record - as of today i will be attending my 19th lectures (Methodism) this weekend, have two live ones (17th-leadingself, 18th- parables).

Yes, in June 2007, I handed in my assignment on Major Religion - Islam. There I conclude that it is immaterial whether Malaysia is an Islamic state or not;. we just need to help our fellow citizens - the muslim Malays. Islam as a religion is just being used to cling on and be the cohesive vehicle, for a group of people who has now matured or still maturing; being educated and exposed to the post-modern world.

Hence it is with great delight, that March 8 election reflected a 'thinking society' with the colourful players. There are, of course times which were frightening, living through the recent scare of ISA. It is not over yet. But hei, we are still living in moments of history.

When I was in college, I was the only Chinese, female at that, who participated in student sit-ins, occupations, student unions, marches and rally. It was a great, 'lonely' experience then and till now. I have had to make a conscious effort and choice to come back to our Malaysian society and be what my parents' objective of sending my for an overseas education is about: a middle class person with the middle class mangerial job, a house in a middle class area ie bangsar(?), a car and so on...

But now, this time, I am not alone in this Malaysian struggle of the 21st Century. It is with great delight to find that there are so many people who share the same thoughts. Not just thoughts, but the guts, and dare to show it too. And best of all, we have Christians who are willing to go out there and be counted. And of most delight, there are loads of Chinese too!
A good example are my brothers. They are such good chinese sons - good job, family - make loads of money and don't get involved in politics! Very, very middle class and chinese. But it was such a good feeling, when we all jump into our MyV and went for a candlelight vigil.

Yes, I am not alone any more.

This is so true. I have copied this in to remind us that there are things in life that we need to stand up to. This is also a reminder that if we are not brave enough to stand up to be counted, we are contributory to 'toxic leadership'.

Why The Peaceful Majority Is Irrelevant
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” - Edmund Burke
Paul E. Marek is a second-generation Canadian, whose grandparents fled Czechoslovakia just prior to the Nazi takeover.

Why The Peaceful Majority Is Irrelevant - By Paul E. Marek, February 2006
I used to know a man whose family were German aristocracy prior to World War Two. They owned a number of large industries and estates. I asked him how many German people were true Nazis, and the answer he gave has stuck with me and guided my attitude toward fanaticism ever since.
“Very few people were true Nazis” he said, “but, many enjoyed the return of German pride, and many more were too busy to care. I was one of those who just thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So, the majority just sat back and let it all happen. Then, before we knew it, they owned us, and we had lost control, and the end of the world had come. My family lost everything. I ended up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories.”

We are told again and again by “experts” and “talking heads” that Islam is the religion of peace, and that the vast majority of Muslims just want to live in peace. Although this unquantified assertion may be true, it is entirely irrelevant. It is meaningless fluff, meant to make us feel better, and meant to somehow diminish the specter of fanatics rampaging across the globe in the name of Islam. The fact is, that the fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history. It is the fanatics who march.

It is the fanatics who wage any one of 50 shooting wars world wide. It is the fanatics who systematically slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa and are gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave. It is the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder, or honor kill. It is the fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and homosexuals. The hard quantifiable fact is, that the “peaceful majority” is the “silent majority” and it is cowed and extraneous.

Communist Russia was comprised of Russians who just wanted to live in peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder of about 20 million people. The peaceful majority were irrelevant. China’s huge population was peaceful as well, but Chinese Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 million people. The Average Japanese individual prior to World War 2 was not a war mongering sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way across South East Asia in an orgy of Killing that included the systematic killing of 12 million Chinese civilians; most killed by sword, shovel, and bayonet. And, who can forget Rwanda, which collapsed into butchery. Could it not be said that the majority of Rwandans were “peace loving”.
History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt, yet for all our powers of reason we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points. Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by the fanatics. Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence. Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don’t speak up, because like my friend from Germany, they will awake one day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun. Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Bosnians, Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians, Algerians, and many others, have died because the peaceful majority did not speak up until it was too late. As for us who watch it all unfold, we must pay attention to the only group that counts; the fanatics who threaten our way of life.

tarty shoes

first written: May 29, 2007

Okay, read this. The language used in the research below, ‘surge of excitement’ sounds like it could well replace a woman’s need for a man or orgasm! Well, now I know why I need to wear those ‘tarty’ shoes!! It is good for the heart!

THE HEART AND SOLE
EXCLUSIVE: How women’s pulses race when they spot a nice pair of shoes
By Ruki Sayid 29/05/2007 - mirror.co.uk
BUYING a pair of killer heels is good for women’s health, sending the heart racing to 120 beats per minute - the equivalent of a gruelling workout.A study by TV psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos found when a girl spots must-have strappy sandals her pulse nearly doubles, leaving her breathless. And it happens each time she tries on her dream footwearAccording to the study of 35 women for shoe chain Brantano, her shopping pals and even women around her feel the same surge of excitement. Linda said: “Shoes have a particular draw to women as they are emotionally evocative items to them and they bring out women’s socialising and nurturing instincts.”

Pepper Spray

This was written on Nov 21st 2006. Anyway, I am ‘publishing’ this BECAUSE the two-star officer told me I must tell my friends not to carry any pepper spray when they are next going to Hong Kong. Here goes:-
Now that I have ‘recovered’: you may like to know, I now have a file with the Hong Kong Police. I was stopped at the customs and my pepper spray confiscated.
Apparently, pepper spray or tear gas is considered a serious, lethal weapon. If I have been stopped in the streets of Hong Kong, I would be taken in, spend a night at the police station and taken to a criminal court.
I was, of course, taken to a corner. I was ‘interviewed’ by not just the Hong Kong Customs officers. Got the ‘third degree’ treatment from an obnoxious young chinese police; with even a two-star white-man police who came to see who is this ‘criminal’ carrying a ‘tear-gas’!
So imagine this: there was this cacophony of Cantonese going on within the 3 customs and 3 police as to what ‘weapon’ it is; and the white man and me, in English - trying to explain how my DAD bought for all the females in my family; and we all carried one now. This is after my sister-in-law was mugged and needed five stitches and how my maid was similarly mugged with a long blade knife; “you know the type that we see Hong Kong movie gangsters carry (our Malaysian parang)”. Of course, one of the Chinese police was trying to explain that it (the tear gas) could be used to rob banks and people. So of course, I have to say that that is the reason why I am carrying it, for protection and how pepper sprays are sold openly in DIY shops in Malaysia. Meanwhile there is this woman – shouting from one end of the customs to the corner where I was ‘held’; as they have to inform ‘my’ airline about ‘me’.
Well, I was ‘released’ after I signed a form of sorts. I was not required to do the mug-shots and stuff as I was leaving the country. Forgot to ask, whether I will be entering Hong Kong again as a criminal when I next go!
Although I was allowed to ‘go into the airport unescorted’, I am quite sure I was ‘followed’. Why? For the first time, I noticed a police man (because he was in a proper uniform and another white man). When I went to purchase a coffee at Starbuck, this police, joined the queue but never actually bought a drink. Then when I went to sit near the Gate, wait to board, there was an another Chinese in dark blue uniform with all sorts of walkie-talkie crackling, facing and sitting two row opposite me. He went off only when I went into the Gate. I actually stopped to watch/confirm my suspicion!
Please note the following:-
a. pepper spray is considered as ‘tear-gas’ in Hong Kong law – so it is considered as lethal weapon.
b. Pepper spray with a key chain and a brand name called ‘bodyguard’ is viewed more as a protection for individuals (however, still not legal in Hong Kong).
c. If you carry any aerosol – whether sun tan lotion or hair spray, it is merely confiscated; cause it will explode under cabin pressure but not a lethal weapon.
d. Incidentally there are many other similar cases of ‘females’ who are ‘caught’ carrying pepper spray when they left Hong Kong and they are all from Philippines and Thailand. I made it to being the first Malaysian in their file. No prizes for guessing, as to why all these females carry pepper spray!
e. Last but not least – carry your pepper spray, but leave it at home when you leave the country! Police are all alike – they consider you guilty and give you the third degree before proven innocent!
Hope you enjoy the reading the above. Like one of my girlfriend said ‘Why do I attract the police and not hunks!” Sigh, story of my life! But then again – like my sister-in-law, speaking from real personal experience, said it is better to be stopped by the police then a mugger! That is a real violation!

would you kill a snatch thief

This is written by my brother. Well thought out. Published by Malaysiakini. Brings up traumised memories and periods, when feelings of vengance arise. Would i be more prepared if it happens again? I think not. Reason is as simple as - we are not trained or moulded by the society we move around in, to physically fight back.

Would you kill a snatch thief?
Ir Hew YL Aug 1, 08 4:05pm
Recently, I almost caught a snatch thief. I was walking along Jalan Telawi Lima, Bangsar Baru in Kuala Lumpur where Maybank, MacDonald’s and the Rocky Restaurant are situated, at 3pm on a bright Saturday afternoon. Whilst walking I was reading a SMS on my handphone. Suddenly, the handphone was taken off my hand by a guy on a motorbike and he proceeded to ride off with the phone in his mouth.
Unfortunately for him, he was on the road shoulder and the obstacles there did not allow him to speed up. I ran alongside him and pushed him off-balance. His bike ramped over water-meters and he crashed into a clinic's shop front.
I retrieved my handphone which fell off in the crash. I looked at the guy, thinking that he’s now an accident victim and may need help. He got up, glared at me and retorted "Apa u mau?" I gestured with my hands thinking 'What's happening man'.
After all, he looks like any other guy on a bike, just like the ones I would hire to work as office staff, or the ones I played football with, years ago.
Suddenly he revved off on his bike. I realised again he was a thief and ought to be treated as one. I managed to kick him below his ribs, but I doubt he was hurt. I chased but he went through two rows of tables along the five foot way, up a six-inch step, and down another two steps on his noisy ‘scrambler’ motorbike, speeding past the trendy restaurants.
By now there was quite an audience starring in disbelief that a snatch theft case was going on right in the middle of a busy street in classy Bangsar. The crowd was the usual middle to upper class English-speaking people of Bangsar. My wife witnessed the whole incident as she waited for me in our car waiting to pick me up after an errand.
For your information, in my family of five adults living in Bangsar, we have now been victims of five snatch thefts and car break-ins in the last two years. We all wonder why the rich residents of Bangsar cannot get together to protect ourselves.
The saying that we have a First World infrastructure with Third World mentality rings true again. Here was an area with Starbucks, MacDonald’s, Western pubs, and foreign-trained professionals and so on. But here is also where the Mat Rempit come to pick on easy victims, like my wife (twice) and my 80-year-old mother and friend.
What is the difference between Bangsar and South Africa now? The crime rate looks like it is just as bad. The difference is that in South Africa, apartheid is back, in the form of gated communities, gated shopping areas, gated office and commercial areas.
Private guards are everywhere in South Africa expecting trouble and armed to protect themselves and their employers. In Bangsar, we still think we are in a nice, safe area and that the police are nearby. Our five resident associations still can't get private security in place.
But coming back to the snatch thief. In hindsight, for about three seconds, I could have caught him and beaten him up. It was just like starring at a cornered rat in the house, just before you kill it with a stick and watch it die, twitching away before going still.
People I spoke to said they would have killed him, and asked why I didn’t kill him. Certainly, incidences like this have happened before and the unlucky thief was actually beaten up and killed in a public show of anger and revenge for past incidents.
When I remember that my wife was traumatised by snatch theft incidences twice in six months and both times in Bangsar, and my 80-year-old mother who was sent to hospital and is right now still suffering from a bad back due to a snatch theft in Bangsar, yes, I think I could have killed him.
Many said to me the police would not do anything even though we have his bike number plate (which fell off) so we better just kill him on the spot.
Then again, this is the year where political awareness is almost at an all time high. I tend to think that this Mat Rempit may be one of those who suffered years of mismanagement and mismatched expectations.
In the last many years, I have worked and played alongside with my fellow Malaysians. This year at work, I saw with my own eyes my Malay colleagues openly supporting DAP candidates while my Chinese and Christian colleagues openly voted for Malay and Muslim candidates. Malaysian citizens have not felt so united for a long time.
This snatch thief is another fellow Malaysian citizen somehow misguided and lost in the world. We make excuses and say they are probably addicts, foreigners, etc. Let's face it, they are our own Mat Rempit, out there in the hundreds, crowding out the prisons, snatching as they like, not just in Snatch-Theft-Center-Bangsar, but also in Kepong, Seremban, Johor Baru, Klang, Kajang, anywhere.
Are there a few hardcore snatch thieves? Or are there populations of Mat Rempit going around just snatching when they feel like it? With so many incidents, it is obvious that there are hordes of them. With an impending recession and the political situation in disarray, expect more snatch thefts. My 83-year-old father has not been ‘snatched from’ yet. No bets on whether he'll be a victim within the next one year in Bangsar.
So think about it. If you are ready to kill a snatch thief, please be ready to kill the rest of the hundreds of Mat Rempit. I still think I can't kill a thief, much as I think of him as a rat of a person.

Scab on the nipple

I am getting to be a jack of all trade and masters of none (except for this mcs, when i finish, God willing!). Why???

okay, there are so many new toys coming out all the time. One could hardly keep up with them. Just played with wordle. Had the microsoft front page installed too, a couple of days ago! phew! how could any one say that they are bored! Suppose one has to remember to go out for fresh air and sunshine!

Today 28th July, will indeed be a memorable day!

where is God

I just spent 4 glorious days along the East Coast of Malaysia. It was work really; covering 20stores and driving a total of 1000km.

Just before this trip, I read that a father told his son - 'son, you must go to church every Sunday inorder to be connected with God'.

It has bothered me! It bothered me, because I love controversy! It has bothered me, because I believe the statement is not true! In fact, I once said in one of the classes I attended ' we don't need to go to church to know God'. I was told that pastors would hate me for making that statement; just as quickly, I was told the statement is true.

I must acknowledge though, that the statement may just be a form of good upbring of one god-fearing father to his son.

I had brought along my Bible and notes to read. Of course there was no time, to read either. I guess, subconsciously, I was trying to prove that statement wrong! God's presence is everywhere. It is just a case of do we keep HIM constantly in our mind. Do we consciously look at things around us, knowing that it is His creation.

All the way up to Kota Baru, except for Kuantan, I spotted only one official church , and for the life of me, I can't even remember the name. It does not mean that there is no (Christian) God there. His presence is very much present. The sea was just as blue and the sandy beaches just as white; as it would be in any church-filled hinterland.

I must admit, end of the day, where we perceive God to be, depends very much on one's maturity.

Then the other question which comes to mind is - why did the main institutional churches left this part of the world relatively untouched? Afterall when an institutional church was formed through the Constituion more than 100 years ago, there was no Islamic renewal. There must be 'lost souls' to be saved here! I acknowledge that I am ignorant on this subject. It would be interesting to read up on this - one day!

psalms and sins

Right, I have rested enough. So it on to Psalms and or Sin.

And of course I have to choose a topic as metaphoric as metaphors and images! But it is the profund and confusing which is most exciting! It is so full of literature, literally and figuratively.

And compare sin in Christianity with Buddhism. Do you know that there is no sin in Buddhism. Really because the Buddhist recognises that we are all sinners. I think it is less pretensious; or open to moments of self-righteousness!

Anyway, between this two subjects, there is so much reading to be done; especially with this access to Atla. Cor, sometimes it is great to be ignorant. Should keep me busy. But I haven't done any of the cleaning and sorting out of rubbish which I have promised myself. Never mind we can procrastinate till another time. Secret is to have so many rooms to store them away!

Happy Holidays...

Yeah! that's it. Finished the 14th assignment! Sixth in nine months! Boy oh Boy! I now know how Morgan feels! Never worked so hard before in my life. Work is an emotional stress. Assignment is a test of will. Combined together, it is a real emotional and wilful stress. Wilful because I was stubborn and foolhardy to choose to do it. Not forgetting of course, the economic opportunity cost of my one carat 'girl's best friend'.

Forgive me, oh my sweet Lord! You did not force me. Hence, I thank and bless YOU! For giving me the tenacity and foolhardiness! Like most things in life, if we do not take the risk or the plunge (with eyes wide open) we will not be able to find our threshold for pain!

When my brain and body has recovered from this zombie-liked state; I look forward to two months of break, before i embark on the other two for the rest of the year! There will be so many places to go and food to eat. I miss my ayam pechik from Kelantan; my otak-otak from Penang and Muar; my Sarawak Laksa and Hakka mee from Kuching; watching the sun-set at Ferringhi beach. I wonder what orchids are flowering at this time of the year at the KK Orchid park. Oh there is just so much to do!

Yes, I will do my round trip of Malaysia in the next two months! Don't call me, I will call you! Oh, I do have to call my friends; lest they forget how to spell my name! They have been kept on hold.

Okay, I should now go out and pick up some food for my Ikan Parang. He (at least i think he is of the male gender) has not have his fresh fishes for a while. I also need to find new homes for the numerous baby toads that is hoping around my little patch of garden.

Cor! there is just too much to be done! I should make a list and get on with life, which has also been kept on hold!

Yippee! Yeah Baby! Look out world! I am back!
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charlatan

I wasn't sure whether to title this as 'charlatan' or 'a little knowledge is a dangerous thing'. Finally decided on the short and sweet one.

I actually wrote an email today. Subject was related to the fact that if we, as Christians do not speak out, we will end up being like a charlatan so and so. The good friend called and said ... doesn't like the tone.

When the opportunity arise, it would be good to discuss further which part was the offensive part. Is it the part of associating us Christians with a charlatan or the part of not speaking up!

Lo Behold, this evening's lectures on Isaiah pointed out the fact that our salvation is closely related to the fact that as a Church, we are to uphold justice, and love our neighbours. Justice includes social justice. Now Social Justice means getting involved in the society we live in; ultimately means speaking up in public too!

This is where a little knowledge invariable is dangerous. First we must recognise our faults and repent. Repenting involves acknowledging ours (and our fellow-christians) faults. Behavourial psychologist said that we must vocalise, speak up our feelings and thoughts. Not speaking up means that we have had it buried deep inside, our heart, mind and soul.

So, if we marry them together, ah! that's why hymnals we sing, implore our Lord, to clean our hearts! Big question is : How can we keep our unrepented thoughts and feeling, inside and alongside, His Words, in our hearts. If we do not speak up, does it not make us charlatans too?

Speaking of that - Well, I said a four lettered word and it begins with the letter 's'. I was shooed by the most genteel of a lady! In addition, my mild mannered, long sufferring, kind souled pastor has started 'moulding' me by giving me opportunities to liturgy. It is simply because I have a little knowledge and at the tail end of mcs.

Sigh! Hallo I don't fit in. I cannot and will not conform! I definitely cannot shut my gap! I am the title! Another sigh!

Yes, yes, yes! I know I can't adopt Jonah's attitude, lest I get swallowed by a whale. But all I wanted and still wish to do, is stay in the background. Time, money and God permitting, attends some lectures and hear his Word! I am not asking for a lot, am I, my dear Saviour and Lord! Amen!

Eccentric..... me????

Oh, well, I have finally done it! and I am flattered indeed! I have finally been endowed with such flattering adjectives - eccentric… fearless...efferversent.... I actually view such complimentary adjectives as better than a DATUK or DATIN or TAN SRI title. Guess effervescent is not so positive, as it could mean - saying without thinkging. I thought I am generally rational and could ‘nyean’ / patient, eg listening to some one berating me for two hours!!!! However, I supposed I could say I have finally ‘landed’ or ‘beached’ borrowing from a chinese phrase, which indicates that a person has arrived.
Beached, indeed, like a big fat whale out of the water!

Above accolades came about from what I shared with my friends. Below is an excerpt:-That day in our Seminary one of the students brought a video to us. it is a video of Tibet and how the Tibetans are really doing well with Chinese control; with the Chinese government building roads. His contention is that we should look at the political and social content of the situation and not condemn China.I gave a real ‘nasty’ but honest remark which may not have gone down well. I said, that is just pure propaganda by the Chinese government against the bad publicity from the west; over what China has done to the Tibetans. There was absolute silence in the class after that.

On the same track, when the Koreans held the last Olympics, they had a bad ‘attack’ by some Americans over the Koreans being cruel because they eat dogs! Wonder what it would be like when India holds the next Olympics; Joke will be that the Americans eat millions of cows, but treat their dogs like children. When Australia holds the next Olympics, what will be the ‘attack’? Probably how the Australians treated the aborigines.

Excerpt of REAL Comment made by friend about me:- And … it’s nice to know that you are ever so outspoken, straightforward, nasty and sarcastic! Some people just can’t get used to that, isn’t it? But I know you’ll say, “F..k them” & you’ll continue to believe; will sing “I Did It My Way” song even till the very end of your life, right? …. we all certainly are used to you; can take your eccentric & effervescent & fearless personality (die, die lah kind of attitude).

My EXCUSE:-
Too long in the male dominated corporate world; having to work triple hard to proof myself equal to the next male? Real blame is to the fact that I have always worked under white men, who encourages open and frank discussions. But it is a no-no to tell an Asian boss that he is wrong!

My LOSS:-
I weep for the demise of my Chinese-ness! Ie. My rather stoic, expressionless chinese face. I forgot to act the demure ‘rather brainless’ docile, second class citizen of a female.
I forgot that I need to be ‘heard and not question’ as stated in Hebrew! Then again I don’t have a husband who will ‘chastise’ me! Ha ha! (Thank God for that).

To the NEW Barisan Rakyat

Received this mail from a friend, requesting that we send this mail to our representative elect. It is well written and does reflect sentiments of many, including myself. Neither do I know or have any MPs or assembly's email. Hence I am reproducing the mail - verbatim, here :-

A Message to the New State Governments
Greetings ye new leaders of the state governments of Kedah, Penang, Perak, Selangor and Kelantan.
We congratulate the parties for a hard-won battle against the seemingly insurmountable Barisan Nasional.

We the voters stood by you - DAP, PKR and PAS during those days you were known as the opposition. We gave a great part of ourselves to help in your noble cause. We parted with our hard-earned money and donated generously at your open air ceramahs.

We braved the unrelenting terrible weather, stood heel-deep in mud listening to your promises of a better Malaysia. We refused to budge under all adverse circumstances. Some of us have placed our careers and families at risk. We were vocal critics and diligent deep-throats supporting the opposition while earning a living in the civil service. We slogged and blogged, wrote and re-wrote, voted and revolted,We did it all for only one reason – that together we can initiate change towards a better Malaysia.

You have now won victoriously, far beyond anyone's expectations. Do not disappoint us the rakyat. You have proclaimed us your bosses by your own admission and we lay claim to that role. You will fulfill your promises and we expect you to demonstrate genuine effort even if you fail in the end. In the past, you could cite limited resources and forced inhibition as excuses for delivery failure. No more now. You are in charge and the last thing we rakyat need is more mitigating factors.

We will judge you by the same measures by which we have expelled the previous regime. Rest assured that you will be held accountable to every proclamation and condemnation that you ever uttered over the last four years. We voted you in without regard to your skin color, religion or biological makeup. We were Chinese who have voted PAS, Malays who have chosen DAP and Indians who opted for PKR. We were the oppressed who saw you as liberators and the cheated who believed in the truth.

We your bosses have set aside our differences and we shall settle for nothing less than the same among you. If we could unit in spite of years of BN racism, you as leaders have even more reason to collaborate and achieve. While we won't expect you to see eye to eye in all things, we do not want any washing of dirty linen in public, either. We affirm our right to praise or criticize you and it is our privilege to have a say in decision-making. We do not desire fanciful slogans or sweet-sounding promises. Rather, we wish to taste sincerity and humility, and we demand you from this moment to observe humility at all times. We insist on our right to be heard, our grouses to be attended to and our welfare to be considered. We seek justice, not exhibitionism.

Do not betray the trust we placed in you, lest we show you the exit the way we did to the previous regime that betrayed us. This is your time - your one and only chance to prove you're worth your salt.

Don't blow it.

just musing

Alright, i have now got myself a blogspot.