Haiz.... to serve or not to serve..

I don't really know the meaning of Haiz... I heard the young using it. I suppose it is a sigh of sadness and expression of resignation?

However, I think it seems to be a very appropriate expression for the moment! Why? Specifically, for me, I have had been rather introverted and kept out of many church activities. One of the reasons being the time required on reading. The other strangely is that I don't feel the need to 'socialize'. Spending time alone, reading books, journals and articles about God is so much more rewarding(?)!

So over this festive period, I made a special effort to meet people I have not seen for a while. Yes, there is a lot of joy and laughter! There is also a lot of congratulations and shaking hands, when they heard I have finished my course! But the next moment is dreadful. As the next question is - so are you going to serve? After a while I learnt to just say "God willing".

My question is - do we study only to serve? It was definitely not my intention! I know there were many 'scholarly' or 'charismatic' arguments. Sad but true, the mass seem to associate the reason for the need to study His Word to those who serve; or in other word - because one is equipped one must serve! In addition, the general attitude is - we leave the studying to the pastors, the intelligent, rich or even the eccentrics.

Haiz, doesn't one know that one need to study His Word just so we could get to know Him better - even on a personal basis? Things like Daily bread etc are hardly sufficient, not for me anyway! For that matter, my lecturers would have told me that I have hardly scratched the surface!

I do not feel smarter; neither do I feel superior! Should my demeanour ever reflect otherwise, I think I could only equate it with a "more quiet confidence of fulfillment - because I know Him better for myself". Slightly, mind you! It is definitely not because I could serve HIM better now!
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Merry Christmas....

It is christmas!!!
Another year, another Christmas!

Have to say it is at least 4-5 years that I did not have such a good Christmas! Truly my last paper about/on Exile has laid all the 'ghosts' to rest! And not forgetting no assignment dates looming...

But over the last few days I have had committed myself to attend Hebrew and Church History and wait for this ... promise to teach Sunday School to the not so young! And this is inspite of the heavy work schedule planned! Not sure what I committed to for the moment! The 1st quarter of 2010 will be a killer!

For the moment though, I feel ever so light with no 'burdens'. One of the reasons could well be the amount of ye olde Christmas songs I have sung over the last two nights! The CandleLight Service has been so full of joy! Wish we do not have to wait till and only for Christmas to sing 'christmas hymns'. Am looking forward to the Watchnight Service on the 31st too! Good old Methodist tradition that should not die out, I hope!

Then of course, today we get to open our presents under the Holiday Tree in my virtual farm! That is another story and quite a delight! What is worth noting is that this Holiday Tree is really a Christmas tree! Sad, as it is considered politically correct, with the Americans' to call it a 'holiday' or 'Tinsel' tree - but never Christmas! Wonder who or which group pushes it through! Maybe we could consider Christmas as a hyped up marketing strategy by the marketing and retailing folks! But there are a generation who grew up celebrating the event! So we compromise one group's tradition in the face of political politeness! Was not this groups' freedom of celebration compromised?

Perhaps I could not stop the tide! However, I could insist on wishing every one, of every race or religion:
A very Merry and Blessed Christmas!

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ask if you don't know.....

We were told a couple of times, in our Greek class, to ask if we don't understand! It is a general statement by our rather pastoral lecturer! Though he did explain a couple of times, I have to admit I still did not understand!

I said to him, politely of course: "not that we do not want to ask, though we do not understand, it is more of we do not know what to ask". May be this is more relevant when studying a language! I mean, if we do not have enough exercises to practice on, or read or speak the language, or how could we apply it?

So it is a chicken or egg situation. So for example: "Ask and you will be given" or told and taught? Even if we ask, God does not necessarily give everything we ask. We don't know what He has in store for us, so how and what to ask for if I don't know!

Naughty as I am, what I did not say to our lecturer is - 'if I did know what to ask, then we are no longer the student but the teacher'.

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done my dues....

As usual I just had a shelling from some one half my age! Though it is part and parcel of my job, it still takes some getting use to!

Once it was very much a part of the ego! Then we consoles ourself; brings one back to focus as to why we need to do it! We tell ourselves that we need to 'yen', then visualise the chinese character of a knive on top of one's heart! Monetary reasons being one of the main and most important; it is a great antidote, in suppressing the ego!

But this time - the 'revelation' is totally different! I burst out laughing! Why? A thought came from my heart(?). It says "you have paid your dues"!

So I looked up at this young girl and gave her a most serene look which said 'sorry darling, you still have a whole life ahead'!

Yes, I have paid my dues! At least in a couple of days, I am technically and legally retire-able! What a wonderful thought! And at that moment, I did seriously felt a great joy in my heart!

However, now that I have 'got' over it, the only scary thought is - if it is truly God telling me that I have paid my dues, at least in Paul's world, it also means that I have to start doing His Work! Yes, I could quote myself verses after verses, where He will be walking before me; won't put me through things that I would not be able to handle etc. etc. etc. Yet, it is still with some trepidation and fear that I have with the thought! I am only but human!

Okay Lord, bring it on, bring it on indeed! After all those trials and tribulations, it is about time, that my threshold for pain is put for good use for His Kingdom!

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I am hooked...

Yes, I am in trouble and truly hooked!

Yes, we are talking about virtual farming! It all started with curiosity! I just could not understand why every one has so many neighbours, and could so easily expand their farms!

Then my computer-science undergraduate nephew, Alex, remarked that he has read that due to the current economic situation in US, the rise in people playing computer games had doubled if not tripled.

So curiosity killed the cat! Yours truly found out that we could 'pimp' ourselves and 'Add Fast neighbours'. Lo and Behold, there are so many people pimping themselves! And they could give achieve the maximum size of farm overnight!!!

Okay! So I have now accessed many more people. Only problem is their achievments clog up the News Feed; which we could hide, of course!

Tell you a joke! So in my follow-up conversation, I remarked innocently how these IT people make money. Of course Alex said that it is due to advertisement! But no, I said. To my shame, yes, it is! But I did not know cause my monitor is too small and I could not see it. Joke, what a joke! LOL indeed!

Then the other thing is this Paypal (?) through Credit Cards! How could one spend their monies like or on this? Suppose it is not any more expensive than going to the theatre or cinema! Could imagine if one is snowed in, it is a credible form of entertainment!

Sigh! I am slow, da!

Whatever it is, I do have to stop! It is effecting my other hobbies! Like studying my Greek! Or tending my garden!
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white christmas

I was wondering whether I should title this as 'life's not fair' or something negative. I decided that 'white christmas' would be more appropriate and positive.

So what's not fair? Life never is fair anyway!

The story is I am trying to wean myself off virtual farms and aquariums! I mean, I have actually acquiesed to a 386 workstation for home use; just enough to do the Word and Excel, so I would not be able to enjoy any of those computer games! Much like cutting my nose off to spite my face!

But I have to admit that Zynga has been doing a good job, upgrading and updating its software. They have not only come out with christmasy gifts and stuff.

The issue is:- I never have enough neighbours to expand; though I may have the cash. I also absolutely refused to indulge in 'paypal' though they did offer discounts. Yet, I have managed to go up to level 31 with only a 12*12 farm. So now, they have even made available for me to upgrade my farm, for a mere $25,000, just so I could purchase Christmas decorations.

Question is:- Oh no! How did they single my farm out? Looks like my farm must have stuck out like a sore thumb in their statistics!

The best is yet to come! Zynga has just made available for us to have a snow-blanketed farm! It has been a while I had a real white Christmas. 'Silent night' has never been the same without the snow!

But, but... I now have a virtual white christmas!!! Isn't it great?
What will we ever do, if we do not have all these modern technologies and inventions! I have had to thank them for the pleasure and company!

Last but not least, looks like the twinhead and now the 386 really have to be binned!
We can't live without modern technology! Sigh!

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wise rabbi...

Okay! Another good and memorable one that has come around again .....
(source unknown).

Obviously this rabbi has read Eccelsiastes ...

One problem with such advices is that the young don't understand what you are talking about. When one begins to appreciate with depth, the meaning of such words, one would have passed the half century mark?

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celebrate??

This is probably an old, old, old joke or we have heard it eons ago. But I just got this through the mail; and with visuals too!

It does reminds us, though, that many of us could be mis-interpreting many of God's will if not his Word.

Enjoy!

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A young priest arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other priest in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.


He notices, however, that all of the priest are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new priest goes to the Bishop to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.


The Bishop says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'


He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old Bishop . .

So, the young priest gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,
'We missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !'


His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young priest asks the old Bishop, 'What's wrong, father?'

With A choking voice, the old Bishop replies, 'The word was...

'CELEBRATE' !!!

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trifles...

"trifles make the sum of life"... charles Dickens (1812-1870)

I was just asked why one wants to do this and that!!! Really it is about pursuing further education ... some more at this age... ????

From now onwards, I think I will change my reply, and quote Charles Dickens. My normal reply has been - why not? Which may have been too defensive or aggressive?
Should I quote Dickens, first it would create a silence! Then one would invariably image an expression of 'she is mad', and/or 'getting more and more eccentric with age'! But I love it - feels so naughty too!

The Oxford Dictionary define 'trifle' as a 'thing of slight value or importance'. Quite true! It is especially so when we pursue an education which does not contribute towards the market value in our career! However, it is no longer 'frivolous' if it does contribute and re-enforce, the conscious choice of a religion, we believe in. Moreover, my 'trifling' with theology, would probably keep me occupied, hopefully nearer to God, and definitely out of trouble!

Then on a lighter note, I love trifles - the dessert! Which reminds me, it has been a while and I should make one this weekend! Hmmm.. what shall it be with? strawberries or nangka?

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long weekends ....

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Starting with this Friday, every week from now till first week of January, will be a short working week and a long weekend! First it is Selangor's Sultan's birthday; then it is Awal Muharram and then it is Christmas; and of course, last but not least, followed by New Year's day! There are perks staying in a multi-raced country!

And yes, I have finished my budget for 2010! It should be the last time I will be doing and living it! Yeah! Baby! Yeah!

However, personally, there are quite a few things to be decided and sorted out, which will be part of the next five year plan!

One of them being - we finished our final exam for Greek 2 on Jan 12, 2010! But guess what - Hebrew starts on Jan 13, 2010! It is going to be a commitment if yours truly decides to take it! First it is a six month thingy! Then we have to take a four hours drive, to and fro, every Wednesday! Foolhardy or dedication? Sigh! Looks like we have to take it on! Why? God permitting, if yours truly ever get to do a thesis it will be on OT and Hebrew is a necessity??????

Talking about Greek - so why bother with Greek now? Cause it was never offered earlier!

Incidentally, three quarters of the way through our Greek 2, we had this realization, among our classmates! How could we have written what we have written, if we have known at least a language?

So we think Biblical languages should have been offered much, much earlier in MCS, if not compulsory! But then, of course, limitations (or excuses) abound, in all us humans! Otherwise, we are guilty of perpetuating the 'unknowing-ness of the lay-people'!

Education truly belongs only to the elite few!



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christmas ...!

It's Christmas again... isn't it wonderful?

Except that it also means that the calender year is ending! How fast time passes!
It has been a good year! Next year will be even better!

Two days ago, after our Greek class, a few of us commented. If we have had known a biblical language, we would have understood what we have learnt and attempted in MCS!

and I went through eight subjects of OT without knowing a word of Hebrew! I do remember, nearing the end, I was able to access some really good journals. However, it was frustrating not to understand the language!

Never mind, we will do it next year! 2010! I always like the beginning of a decade! It brings so much unknown - which I now no longer fear!

FOR I have learnt to look forward to the new - which is installed for me!

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